WISE. That is easily done. The three thousand that were converted (Acts 2), repented not till they had sight and sense of their sins. Paul repented not till he had sight and sense of his sins (Act 9). The jailer repented not till the had sight and sense of his sins; nor could they (Act 16). For of what should a man repent? The answer is, Of sin. What is it to repent of sin? The answer is, To be sorry for it, to turn from it. But how can a man be sorry for it, that has neither sight nor sense of it? (Psa 38:18). David did not only commit sins, but abode impenitent for them, until Nathan the prophet was sent from God to give him a sight and sense of them; and then, but not till then, he indeed repented of them (2 Sam 12). Job, in order to his repentance, cries unto God, 'Show me wherefore thou contendest with me?' (Job 10:2). And again, 'That which I see not teach thou me, I have borne chastisement, I will not offend any more' (Job 34:32). That is, not in what I know, for I will repent of it; nor yet in what I know not, when thou shalt show me it. Also Ephraim's repentance was after he was turned to the sight and sense of his sins, and after he was instructed about the evil of them (Jer 31:18-20).
ATTEN. These are good testimonies of this truth, and do, if matter of fact, with which Mr. Badman is charged, be true, prove indeed that he did not repent, but as he lived so he died in his sin (Job 20:11). For without repentance a man is sure to die in his sin; for they will lie down in the dust with him, rise at the judgment with him, hang about his neck like cords and chains when he standeth at the bar of God's tribunal (Prov 5:22). And go with him, too, when he goes away from the judgment-seat, with a 'Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels' (Matt 25:41). And there shall fret and gnaw his conscience, because they will be to him a never-dying worm (Mark 9:44; Isa 66:24).
WISE. You say well, and I will add a word or two more to what I have said. Repentance, as it is not produced without a sight and sense of sin, so every sight and sense of sin cannot produce it; I mean every sight and sense of sin cannot produce that repentance, that is repentance unto salvation; repentance never to be repented of. For it is yet fresh before us, that Mr. Badman had a sight and sense of sin, in that fit of sickness that he had before, but it died without procuring any such godly fruit; as was manifest by his so soon returning with the dog to his vomit. Many people think also that repentance stands in confession of sin only, but they are very much mistaken; for repentance, as was said before, is a being sorry for, and returning from transgression to God by Jesus Christ. Now, if this be true, that every sight and sense of sin will not produce repentance, then repentance cannot be produced there where there is no sight and sense of sin. That every sight and sense of sin will not produce repentance, to wit, the godly repentance that we are speaking of, is manifest in Cain, Pharaoh, Saul, and Judas, who all of them had sense, great sense of sin, but none of them repentance unto life.
Now I conclude that Mr. Badman did die impenitent, and so a death most miserable.
ATTEN. But pray now, before we conclude our discourse of Mr.
Badman, give me another proof of his dying in his sins.
WISE. Another proof is this, he did not desire a sight and sense of sins, that he might have repentance for them. Did I say he did not desire it, I will add, he greatly desired to remain in his security, and that I shall prove by that which follows. First, he could not endure that any man now should talk to him of his sinful life, and yet that was the way to beget a sight and sense of sin, and so of repentance from it, in his soul. But I say he could not endure such discourse. Those men that did offer to talk unto him of his ill-spent life, they were as little welcome to him, in the time of his last sickness, as was Elijah when he went to meet with Ahab as he went down to take possession of Naboth's vineyard. 'Hast thou found me,' said Ahab, 'O mine enemy?' (1 Kings 21:17-21). So would Mr. Badman say in his heart to and of those that thus did come to him, though indeed they came even of love to convince him of his evil life, that he might have repented thereof and have obtained mercy.
ATTEN. Did good men then go to see him in his last sickness?
WISE. Yes. Those that were his first wife's acquaintance, they went to see him, and to talk with him, and to him, if perhaps he might now, at last, bethink himself and cry to God for mercy.
ATTEN. They did well to try now at last if they could save his soul from hell. But pray how can you tell that he did not care for the company of such?
WISE. Because of the differing carriage that he had for them from what he had when his old carnal companions came to see him. When his old companions came to see him he would stir up himself as much as he could, both by words, and looks, to signify they were welcome to him; he would also talk with them freely and look pleasantly upon them, though the talk of such could be none other but such as David said carnal men would offer to him when they came to visit him in his sickness. 'If he come to see me,' says he, 'he speaketh vanity, his heart gathereth iniquity to itself' (Psa 41:6). But these kind of talks, I say, Mr. Badman better brooked than he did the company of better men.