1. I say, anguish will make thee cry. ‘Trouble and anguish,’ saith David, ‘have taken hold on me’ (Psa 119:143). Anguish, you know, doth naturally provoke to crying; now, as a broken bone has anguish, a broken heart has anguish. Hence the pains of one that has a broken heart are compared to the pangs of a woman in travail (John 16:20-22).
Anguish will make one cry alone, cry to one’s self; and this is called a bemoaning of one’s self. ‘I have surely heard Ephraim bemoaning himself,’ saith God (Jer 31:18). That is, being at present under the breaking, chastising hand of God. ‘Thou hast chastised me,’ saith he, ‘and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke.’ This is his meaning also who said, ‘I mourn in my complaint, and make a noise.’ And why? Why, ‘My heart is sore pained within me’ (Psa 4:2-4).
This is a self-bemoaning, a bemoaning themselves in secret and retired places. You know it is common with them who are distressed with anguish, though all alone, to cry out to themselves of their present pains, saying, O my leg! O my arm! O my bowels! Or, as the son of the Shunammite, ‘My head! my head!’ (2 Kings 4:19). O the groans, the sighs, the cries, that the broken-hearted have, when by themselves, or alone! O, say they, my sins! my sins! my soul! my soul! How am I loaden with guilt! How am I surrounded with fear! O this hard, this desperate, this unbelieving heart! O how sin defileth my will, my mind, my conscience! ‘I am afflicted and ready to die’ (Psa 88:15).[9]
Could some of you carnal people but get behind the chamber-door, to hear Ephraim when he is at the work of self-bemoaning, it would make you stand amazed to hear him bewail that sin in himself in which you take delight; and to hear him bemoan his misspending of time, while you spend all in pursuing your filthy lusts; and to hear him offended with his heart, because it will not better comply with God’s holy will, while you are afraid of his Word and ways, and never think yourselves better than when farthest off from God. The unruliness of the passions and lusts of the broken-hearted make them often get into a corner, and thus bemoan themselves.
2. As they thus cry out in a bemoaning manner of and to themselves, so they have their outcries of and against themselves to others; as she said in another case, ‘Behold and see, if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow’ (Lam 1:12). O the bitter cries and complaints that the broken-hearted have, and make to one another! Still every one imagining that his own wounds are deepest, and his own sores fullest of anguish, and hardest to be cured. Say they, if our iniquities be upon us, and we pine away in them, how can we then live? (Eze 33:10).
Once being at an honest woman’s house, I, after some pause, asked her how she did? She said, Very badly. I asked her if she was sick? she answered, No. What then, said I, are any of your children ill? She told me, No. What, said I, is your husband amiss, or do you go back in the world? No, no, said she, but I am afraid I shall not be saved. And broke out with heavy heart, saying, ‘Ah, Goodman Bunyan! Christ and a pitcher; if I had Christ, though I went and begged my bread with a pitcher, it would be better with me than I think it is now!’ This woman had her heart broken, this woman wanted Christ, this woman was concerned for her soul. There are but few women, rich women, that count Christ and a pitcher better than the world, their pride, and pleasures. This woman’s cries are worthy to be recorded; it was a cry that carried in it, not only a sense of the want, but also of the worth of Christ. This cry, ‘Christ and a pitcher,’ made a melodious noise in the ears of the very angels![10]
But, I say, few women cry out thus; few women are so in love with their own eternal salvation, as to be willing to part with all their lusts and vanities for Jesus Christ and a pitcher. Good Jacob also was thus: ‘If the Lord,’ said he, ‘will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on, then he shall be my God.’ Yea, he vowed it should be so. ‘And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on; so that I come again to my father’s house in peace: then shall the Lord be my God’ (Gen 28:20).
3. As they bemoan themselves, and make their complaints to one and another, so they cry to God. ‘O God,’ said Heman, ‘I have cried day and night before thee.’ But when? Why, when his soul was full of trouble, and his life drew near to the grave (Psa 88:1-3). Or, as it says in another place, out of the deep, ‘out of the belly of hell cried I’ (Psa 130:1; Jonah 2:2). By such words expressing what painful condition they were in when they cried.
See how God himself words it. ‘My pleasant portion,’ says he, is become ‘a desolate wilderness, and being desolate, it mourneth unto me’ (Jer 12:11). And this also is natural to those whose hearts are broken. Whether goes the child, when it catcheth harm, but to its father, to its mother? Where doth it lay its head, but in their laps? Into whose bosom doth it pour out its complaint, more especially, but into the bosom of the father, of a mother, because there are bowels, there is pity, there is relief and succour? And thus it is with them whose bones, whose hearts are broken. It is natural to them; they must cry; they cannot but cry to him. ‘Lord, heal me,’ said David, ‘for my bones are vexed; Lord, heal me, for my soul is also sore vexed’ (Psa 6:1-3). He that cannot cry feels no pain, sees no want, fears no danger, or else is dead.
Sixth. Another sign of a broken heart, and of a contrite spirit is, it trembleth at God’s Word. ‘To him that is poor, and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my Word’ (Isa 66:2).