WISE. There can be no pleasure in the telling of such stories, though to hear of them may do us a pleasure. They may put us in mind that there is a God that judgeth in the earth, and that doth not always forget nor defer to hear the cry of the destitute; they also carry along with them both caution and counsel to those that are the survivors of such. Let us tremble at the judgments of God, and be afraid of sinning against him, and it shall be our protection. It shall go well with them that fear God, that fear before him.
ATTEN. Well, Sir, as you have intimated, so I think we have, in this place, spoken enough about these kind of men; if you please, let us return again to Mr. Badman himself, if you have any more to say of him.
WISE. More! we have yet scarce thoroughly begun with anything that we have said. All the particulars are in themselves so full of badness, that we have rather only looked in them, than indeed said anything to them; but we will pass them and proceed. You have heard of the sins of his youth, of his apprenticeship, and how he set up, and married, and what a life he hath led his wife; and now I will tell you some more of his pranks. He had the very knack for knavery; had he, as I said before, been bound to serve an apprenticeship to all these things, he could not have been more cunning, he could not have been more artificial at it.
ATTEN. Nor perhaps so artificially neither. For as none can teach goodness like to God himself, so, concerning sin and knavery, none can teach a man it like the devil, to whom, as I perceive, Mr. Badman went to school from his childhood to the end of his life. But, pray, Sir, make a beginning.
WISE. Well, so I will. You may remember that I told you what a condition he was in for money before he did marry, and how he got a rich wife, with whose money he paid his debts. How, when he had paid his debts, he having some money left, he sets up again as briskly as ever, keeps a great shop, drives a great trade, and runs again a great way into debt; but now not into the debt of one or two, but into the debt of many, so that at last he came to owe some thousands, and thus he went on a good while. And, to pursue his ends the better, he begun now to study to please all men, and to suit himself to any company; he could now be as they, say as they, that is, if he listed; and then he would list, when he perceived that by so doing he might either make them his customers or creditors for his commodities. If he dealt with honest men, as with some honest men he did, then he would be as they, talk as they, seem to be sober as they, talk of justice and religion as they, and against debauchery as they; yea, and would too seem to show a dislike of them that said, did, or were otherwise than honest.
Again, when he did light among those that were bad, then he would be as they, but yet more close and cautiously, except they were sure of his company. Then he would carry it openly, be as they, say, damn them and sink them[41] as they. If they railed on good men, so could he; if they railed on religion, so could he; if they talked beastly, vainly, idly, so would he; if they were for drinking, swearing, whoring, or any the like villainies, so was he. This was now the path he trod in, and could do all artificially as any man alive. And now he thought himself a perfect man, he thought he was always a boy till now. What think you now of Mr. Badman?
ATTEN. Think! why I think he was an atheist; for no man but an atheist can do this. I say it cannot be but that the man that is such as this Mr. Badman must be a rank and stinking atheist, for he that believes that there is either God or devil, heaven or hell, or death and judgment after, cannot do as Mr. Badman did; I mean if he could do these things without reluctancy and check of conscience, yea, if he had not sorrow and remorse for such abominable sins as these.
WISE. Nay, he was so far off from reluctances and remorse of conscience for these things, that he counted them the excellency of his attainments, the quintessence of his wit, his rare and singular virtues, such as but few besides himself could be the masters of. Therefore, as for those that made boggle and stop at things, and that could not in conscience, and for fear of death and judgment, do such things as he, he would call them fools and noddies,[42] and charge them for being frighted with the talk of unseen bugbears, and would encourage them, if they would be men indeed, to labour after the attainment of this his excellent art. He would oftentimes please himself with the thoughts of what he could do in this matter, saying within himself, I can be religious and irreligious, I can be anything or nothing; I can swear, and speak against swearing; I can lie, and speak against lying; I can drink, wench, be unclean, and defraud, and not be troubled for it. Now I enjoy myself, and am master of mine own ways, and not they of me. This I have attained with much study, great care, and more pains. But this his talk should be only with himself, to his wife, who he knew durst not divulge it, or among his intimates, to whom he knew he might say any thing.
ATTEN. Did I call him before an atheist? I may call him now a devil, or a man possessed with one, if not with many. I think that there cannot be found in every corner such a one as this. True, it is said of king Ahaz that he sinned more and more (2 Chron 28:22). And of Ahab, that he sold 'himself to work wickedness' (1 Kings 21:25). And of the men of Sodom, that they 'were sinners before the Lord exceedingly' (Gen 13:13).
WISE. An atheist he was no doubt, if there be such a thing as an atheist in the world; but for all his brags of perfection and security in his wickedness, I believe that at times God did let down fire from heaven into his conscience (Job 21:17). True, I believe he would quickly put it out again, and grow more wicked and desperate afterward, but this also turned to his destruction, as afterward you may hear.