Old Brown then took a deadly aim
Toward young Reuben's head,
But, oh! it was a bleeding shame,
He made a mistake, and shot his only daughter, and had the unspeakable
anguish of seeing her drop right down stone dead.
Then anguish filled young Reuben's heart,
And vengeance crazed his brain,
He drew an awful jack-knife out,
And plunged it into old Brown about fifty or sixty times, so that it's very
doubtful about his ever coming to again.
The briny drops from Reuben's eyes
In torrents pouréd down,—
And in this melancholy and heart-rending manner terminates the history of
Reuben and Phbe and likewise old Captain Brown.
Anonymous.
CCCLXII.
THE REMOVAL.
A nervous old gentleman, tired of trade,—
By which, though, it seems, he a fortune had made,—
Took a house 'twixt two sheds, at the skirts of the town,
Which he meant, at his leisure, to buy and pull down.
This thought struck his mind when he viewed the estate;
But, alas! when he entered he found it too late;
For in each dwelt a smith;—a more hard-working two
Never doctored a patient, or put on a shoe.
At six in the morning, their anvils, at work,
Awoke our good squire, who raged like a Turk.
"These fellows," he cried, "such a clattering keep,
That I never can get above eight hours of sleep."
From morning till night they keep thumping away,—
No sound but the anvil the whole of the day;
His afternoon's nap and his daughter's new song,
Were banished and spoiled by their hammer's ding-dong.
He offered each Vulcan to purchase his shop;
But, no! they were stubborn, determined to stop;
At length, (both his spirits and health to improved,)
He cried, "I'll give each fifty guineas to move."