[ENTER ROLLA DISGUISED AS A MONK.]
Rolla. Inform me, friend, is Alonzo, the Peruvian, confined in this dungeon? Sentinel. He is. Rolla. I must speak with him. Sentinel. You must not. Rolla. He is my friend. Sentinel. Not if he were your brother. Rolla. What is to be his fate? Sentinel. He dies at sunrise. Rolla. Ha! then I am come in time, Sentinel. Just to witness his death. Rolla. [Advancing toward the door.] Soldier, I must speak with him. Sentinel. [Pushing him back with his gun.] Back! Back! it is impossible. Rolla. I do entreat you, but for one moment. Sentinel. You entreat in vain, my orders are most strict. Rolla. Look on this massive wedge of gold! look on these precious gems! In thy land they will be wealth for thee and thine, beyond thy hope or wish. Take them; they are thine; let me but pass one moment with Alonzo. Sentinel. Away! Wouldest thou corrupt me?—me, an old Castilian! I know my duty better. Rolla. Soldier, hast thou a wife? Sentinel. I have. Rolla. Hast thou children? Sentinel. Four honest, lovely boys. Rolla. Where didst thou leave them? Sentinel. In my native village, in the very cot where I was born. Rolla. Dost thou love thy wife and children? Rolla. Do I love them? God knows my heart,—I do. Rolla. Soldier, imagine thou wert doomed to die a cruel death, in a strange land,—what would be thy last request? Sentinel. That some of my comrades should carry my dying blessing to my wife and children. Rolla. What if that comrade was at thy prison door, and should there be told, "Thy fellow-soldier dies at sunrise, yet thou shalt not for a moment see him, nor shalt thou bear his dying blessing to his poor children, or his wretched wife!"— What would'st thou think of him who thus could drive thy comrade from the door? Sentinel. How! Rolla. Alonzo has a wife and child; and I am come but to receive for her, and for her poor babes the last blessing of my friend. Sentinel. Go in. [Exit sentinel.] Rolla. [ Calls] Alonzo! Alonzo! [Enter Alonzo, speaking as he comes in.] Alonzo. How! is my hour elapsed? Well, I am ready. Rolla Alonzo—Know me! Alonzo. Rolla! Heavens! how didst thou pass the guard? Rolla. There is not a moment to be lost in words. This disguise I tore from the dead body of a friar, as I passed our field of battle. It has gained me entrance to thy dungeon; now take it thou, and fly. Alonzo And Rolla,— Rolla. Will remain here in thy place. Alonzo. And die for me! No! Rather eternal torture rack me. Rolla. I shall not die, Alonzo. It is thy life Pizarro seeks, not Rolla's; and thy arm may soon deliver me from prison. Or, should it be otherwise, I am as a blighted tree in the desert; nothing lives beneath my shelter. Thou art a husband and a father; the being of a lovely wife and helpless infant depend upon thy life. Go, go, along, not to save thyself but Cora and thy child. Alonzo. Urge me not thus, my friend. I am prepared to die in peace. Rolla. To die in peace! devoting her you have sworn to live for to madness, misery, and death! Alonzo. Merciful Heavens! Rolla. If thou art yet irresolute, Alonzo,—now mark me well. Thou knowest that Rolla never pledged his word, and shrank from its fulfilment. And here I swear, if thou art proudly obstinate, thou shalt have the desperate triumph of seeing Rolla perish by thy side. Alonzo. O, Rolla! you distract me! Wear you the robe and though dreadful the necessity we will strike down the guard and force our passage. Rolla. What, the soldier on duty here? Alonzo Yes,—else, seeing two, the alarm will be instant death. Rolla. For my nation's safety, I would not harm him. That soldier, mark me, is a man! All are not men that wear the human form. He refused my prayers, refused my gold, refused to admit, till his own feelings bribed him. I will not risk a hair of that man's head, to save my heartstrings from consuming fire But haste! A moment's further pause, and all is lost. Alonzo Rolla, I fear thy friendship drives me from honor and from right.. Rolla. Did Rolla ever counsel dishonor to his friend? [ Throwing the friar's garment over his shoulder.] There! conceal thy face. Now, God be with thee! Kotzebue.
CCCLXXXIII.
THE ENGLISH TRAVELLER.
Traveller. Do you belong to this house, friend? Landlord. No, it belongs to me, I guess. [ The Traveller takes out his memorandum-book, and in a low voice reads what he writes.] Trav. "Mem. Yankee landlords do not belong to their house's [Aloud] You seem young for a landlord: may I ask how old you are? Land. Yes, if you'd like to know. Trav. Hem! [Disconcerted.] Are you a native, sir? Land. No, sir; there are no natives hereabouts. Trav. "Mem. None of the inhabitants natives; ergo, all foreigners." [Aloud] Where were you born, sir? Land. Do you know where Marblehead is? Trav. Yes. Land. Well, I was not born there. Trav. Why did you ask the question, then? Land. Because my daddy was. Trav. But you were born somewhere. Land. That 's true; but as father moved up country afore the townships were marked out, my case is somewhat like the Indian's who was born at Nantucket, Cape Cod, and all along shore. Trav. Were you brought up in this place, sir? Land. No; I was raised in Varmount till mother died, and then, as father was good for nothing after that I pulled up stakes and went to sea a bit. Trav. "Mem. Yankees, instead of putting up gravestones, pull up stakes, and go to sea, when a parent dies" [Aloud] You did not follow the sea long, for you have not the air of a mariner. Land. why, you see, I had a leetle knack at the coopering business; and larning that them folks that carry it on in the West Indies die off fast, I calculated I should stand a chance to get a handsome living there. Trav. And so you turned sailor to get there? Land. Not exactly; for I agreed to work my passage by cooking for the crew, and tending the dumb critters. Trav. Dumb critters! Of what was your lading composed? Land. A leetle of everything;—horses, hogs, hoop-poles, and Hingham boxes; boards, ingyons, soap, candles, and ile. Trav. "Mem. Soap, candles, and ile, called dumb critters by the Yankees." [Aloud.] Did you arrive there safely? Land. No, I guess we did n't. Trav. Why not? Land. We had a fair wind, and sailed a pretty piece, I tell you; but jest afore we reached the eend of our vige, some pirates overhauled us, and stole all our molasses, rum, and gingerbread. Trav. Is that all they did to you? Land. No, they ordered us on board their vessel, and promised us some black-strap. Trav. "Mem. Pirates catch Yankees with a black-strap." [Aloud] Did you accept the invitation? Land. No, I guess we did n't. And so they threatened to fire into us. Trav. What did your captain do? Land. "Fire, and be dammed!" says he, "but you'd better not spill the deacon's ile, I tell you." Trav. And so you ran off, did you? Land. No; we sailed off a small piece. But the captain said it was a tarnal shame to let them steal our necessaries; and so he right about, and peppered them, I tell you. Trav. "Mem. Yankees pepper pirates when they meet them." [Aloud.] Did you take them? Land. Yes, and my shear built this house. Trav. "Mem. Yankees build houses with shears." Land. It 's an ill wind that blows nowhere, as the saying is. And now, may I make so bold as to ask whose name I shall enter in my books? Trav. Mine! Land. Hem!—if it 's not an impertinent question, may I ask which way you are travelling? Trav. Home. Land. Faith! have I not as good a right to catechize you, as you had to catechize me? Trav. Yes. "Mem. Yankees the most inquisitive people in the world,—impertinent, and unwilling to communicate information to travellers." [Aloud] Well, sir, if you have accommodations fit for a gentleman, I will put up with you. Land. They have always suited gentlemen, but I can't say how you'll like 'em. Trav. There is a tolerable prospect from this window. What hill is that, yonder? Land. Bunker Hill, sir. Trav. Pretty hill! If I had my instruments here, I should like to take it. Land. You had better not try. It required three thousand instruments to take it in '75. Tram "Mem. A common Yankee hill cannot be drawn without three thousand instruments." [Aloud] Faith, Landlord, your Yankee draughtsmen must be great bunglers. But come, sir, give me breakfast, for I must be going; There is nothing else in the vicinity worthy the notice of a traveller. Anon.
CCCLXXXIV.
THE EMBRYO LAWYER.
OLD FICKLE—TRISTAM FICKLE.
Old F. What reputation, what honor, what profit can
accrue to you from such conduct as yours? One moment
you tell me you are going to become the greatest musician
in the world, and straight you fill my house with fiddlers.
Tri. I am clear out of that scrape now, sir.
Old F. Then from a fiddler you are metamorphosed into a
philosopher; and for the noise of drums, trumpets, and hautboys,
you substitute a vile jargon, more unintelligible than was
ever heard at the tower of Babel.
Tri. You are right, sir, I have found out that philosophy is
folly; so, I have cut the philosophers of all sects, from Plato and
Aristotle down to the puzzlers of modern date.
Old F. How much had I to pay the cooper, the other day,
for barreling you up in a large tub, when you resolved to live
like Diogenes?
Tri. You should not have paid him anything, sir, for the tub
would not hold. You see the contents are run out.
Old F. No jesting, sir; this is no laughing matter. Your
follies have tired me out. I verily believe you have taken the
whole round of arts and science in a month, and have been of
fifty different minds in half an hour.
Tri. And, by that, shown the versatility of my genius.
Old F. Don't tell me of versatility, sir. Let me see a little
steadiness. You have never yet been constant to anything but
extravagance.
Tri. Yes, sir, one thing more.
Old F. What is that, sir.
Tri. Affection for you. However my head may have wandered,
my heart has always been constantly attached to the kindest
of parents; and, from this moment, I am resolved to lay my
follies aside, and pursue that line of conduct which will be most
pleasing to the best of fathers and of friends.
Old F. Well said, my boy,—well said! You make me
happy indeed. [patting him on the shoulder] Now, then, my
dear Tristram, let me know what you really mean to do.
Tri. To study the law.
Old F. The law!
Tri. I am most resolutely bent on following that profession.
Old F. No!
Tri. Absolutely and irrevocably fixed.
Old F. Better and better. I am overjoyed. Why, 't is the
very thing I wished. Now I am happy. [ Tristram makes gestures
as if speaking.] See how his mind is engaged!
Tri, Gentlemen of the jury,—
Old F. Why Tristram,—
Tri. This is a cause,—
Old F. O, my dear boy! I forgive you all your tricks. I
see something about you, now, that I can depend upon. [ Tristram
continues making gestures.]
Tri. I am for the plaintiff in this cause,—
Old F. Bravo! bravo! excellent boy! I'll go and order
your books directly.
Tri. It is done sir.
Old F. What, already!
Tri. I ordered twelve square feet of books when I first
thought of embracing the arduous profession of the law.
Old F. What, do you mean to read by the foot?
Tri. By the foot, sir; that is the only way to become a solid
lawyer.
Old F. Twelve square feet of learning! Well,—
Tri. I have likewise sent for a barber,
Old F. What, is he to teach you to shave close?
Tri. He is to shave one half of my head, sir.
Old F. You will excuse me if I cannot perfectly understand
what that has to do with the study of the law.
Tri. Did you never hear of Demosthenes, sir, the Athenian
orator? He had half his head shaved, and locked himself up in
a coal-cellar.
Old F. Ah! he was perfectly right to lock himself up after
having undergone such an operation as that. He certainly
would have made rather an odd figure abroad.
Tri. I think I see him now, awaking the dormant patriotism
of his countrymen,—lightning in his eye, and thunder in his
voice: he pours forth a torrent of eloquence, resistless in its
force—the throne of Philip trembles while he speaks; he denounces,
and indignation fills the bosom of his hearers; he
exposes the impending danger, and every one sees impending
ruin; he threatens the tyrant,—they grasp their swords; he
calls for vengeance, their thirsty weapons glitter in the air,
and thousands reverberate the cry. One soul animates the nation,
and that soul is the soul of the orator.
Old F. O! what a figure he'll make in the King's Bench!
But, come, I will tell you now what my plan is, and then you
will see how happily this determination of yours will further it.
You have [ Tristram makes extravagant gestures, as if speaking,]
often heard me speak of my friend Briefwit, the barrister,—
Tri. Who is against me in this cause?—
Old F. He is a most learned lawyer,—
Tri. But as I have justice on my side,—
Old F. Zounds! he does n't hear a word I say! Why,
Tristram!
Tri. I beg your pardon, sir, I was prosecuting my studies.
Old F. Now, attend,—
Tri. As my learned friend observes,—Go on, sir, I am all
attention.
Old F. Well, my friend the counselor,—
Tri. Say learned friend, if you please, sir. We gentlemen
of the law always,—
Old F. Well, well,—my learned friend,—
Tri. A black patch!
Old F. Will you listen, and be silent?
Tri. I am as mute as a judge.
Old F. My friend, I say, has a ward, who is very handsome,
and who has a very handsome fortune. She would make you
a charming wife.
Tri. This is an action,
Old F. Now, I have hitherto been afraid to introduce you
to my friend, the barrister, because I thought your lightness and
his gravity,—
Tri. Might be plaintiff and defendant.
Old F. But now you are growing serious and steady, and
have resolved to pursue his profession, I will shortly bring you
together; you will obtain his good opinion, and all the rest follows
of course.
Tri. A verdict in my favor.
Old F. You marry and sit down, happy for life.
Tri. In the King's Bench.
Old F. Bravo! Ha, ha, ha! But now run to your study,
—run to your study, my dear Tristram, and I'll go and call
upon the counsellor.
Tri. I remove by habeas corpus.
Old F. Pray have the goodness to make haste, then.
[Hurrying him off.]
Tri. Gentlemen of the jury this is a cause. [Exit.]
Old F. The inimitable boy! I am now the happiest father
living. What genius he has! He'll be Lord Chancellor one
day or other, I dare be sworn. I am sure he has talents! O!
how I long to see him at the bar!
Allingham.