THE FLATTERER.
“Flattery may be considered as a mode of companionship, degrading but profitable to him who flatters.
The Flatterer is a person who will say as he walks with another, ‘Do you observe how people are looking at you? This happens to no man in Athens but you. A compliment was paid to you yesterday in the Porch. More than thirty persons were sitting there; the question was started, Who is our foremost man? Every one mentioned you first, and ended by coming back to your name.’
Then he will request the company to be silent while the great man is speaking, and will praise him, too, in his hearing, and mark his approbation at a pause with ‘True;’ or he will laugh at a frigid joke, and stuff his cloak into his mouth as if he could not repress his amusement.
He will request those whom he meets to stand still until ‘his Honor’ has passed. He will buy apples and pears, and bring them in, and give to the children in the father’s presence; adding, with kisses, ‘Chicks of a good father.’ Also, when he assists at the purchase of slippers, he will declare that the foot is more shapely than the shoe. If his patron is approaching a friend, he will run forward and say, ‘He is coming to you;’ and then, turning back, ‘I have announced you.’
He is the first of the guests to praise the wine; and to say, as he reclines next the host, ‘How delicate is your fare! and (taking up something from the table) ‘Now this—how excellent it is!’ He will say that his patron’s house is well built, that his land is well planted, and that his portrait is a good likeness.”—Jebb.
MR. MALAPROP.
“Unseasonable behavior is such a manner of conversation as is very troublesome to those with whom you converse.
A man that acts unseasonably will intrude himself upon his friend, when he is engaged in earnest business, and consult him about his own private concerns. When his mistress lies dangerously ill of a fever, he’ll make her a visit and carry himself gayly. If he stands in need of a surety, he begs that favor of one who has just smarted for being bound to another. If he is summoned for a witness in any cause, he appears in court immediately after judgment has been given.
When he is invited to a wedding, he takes the opportunity to rail at the fair sex. If he meets a friend who has just come home from a long journey, he’ll press him to take a walk. He is ever ready and punctual, as soon as a shop-keeper has sold his goods, to help him to a customer that would have given more.