The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

by John D. Sherwood

“And vaguely here,

Through the dim mists that crowd the atmosphere,

We draw the outlines of weird figures cast

In shadows on the background of the past.”

Longfellow’s “New England Tragedies.”

“’Tis pleasant through the loopholes of retreat

To peep at such a world.”

Cowper.

CHAPTER I.
OF AMERICAN SETTLEMENTS GENERALLY.

Some American Grounds, like Coffee, unsettled.—Some Settlements pulled up by the Roots; others chilled by Fever and Ague.—Moist Soils objected to except by Doctors.—Unexpected Crops of Tomahawks from Wheat sown.—Settlements in America because of the Impracticability of making any at Home with Creditors.—Wild Oats sown between thirty-fourth and thirty-eighth Parallels.—Frequent Settlements make long Friends.—Settlements of Old Tavern Scores in Chalky Districts.—Religious Squalls prostrate some Plantations.—Indian Tempests uproot others.—Growth of Virginia, although Queen Elizabeth a femme sole.—Clergymen’s Settlements.—Brides unsettled.—Drake around the World.