So bear with me all ye who can;
I make an appeal to your pity,
For I’m a most unlucky man.
’Twas under an unlucky planet
That I a poor mortal was born;
My existence since first I began it
Has been very sad and forlorn.
Then do not make sport of my troubles,
But pity me all ye who can,
For I’m an uncomfortable, horrible, terrible, inconsolable, unlucky man.”