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PARADOXES
1.
A Defence of Womens Inconſtancy.
That Women are Inconſtant, I with any man confeſſe, but that Inconſtancy is a bad quality, I againſt any man will maintaine: For every thing as it is one better than another, ſo is it fuller of change; The Heavens themſelves continually turne, the Starres move, the Moone changeth; Fire whirleth, Ayre flyeth, Water ebbs and flowes, the face of the Earth altereth her lookes, time ſtayes not; the Colour that is moſt light, will take moſt dyes: ſo in Men, they that have the moſt reaſon are the moſt alterable in their deſignes, and the darkeſt or moſt ignorant, do ſeldomeſt change; therefore Women changing more than Men, have alſo [2] ]more Reaſon. They cannot be immutable like ſtockes, like ſtones, like the Earths dull Center; Gold that lyeth ſtill, ruſteth; Water, corrupteth; Aire that moveth not, poyſoneth; then why ſhould that which is the perfection of other things, be imputed to Women as greateſt imperfection? Becauſe thereby they deceive men. Are not your wits pleaſed with thoſe jeſts, which coozen your expectation? You can call it Pleaſure to be beguil’d in troubles, and in the moſt excellent toy in the world, you call it Treachery: I would you had your Miſtreſſes ſo conſtant, that they would never change, no not ſo much as their ſmocks, then ſhould you ſee what ſluttiſh vertue, Conſtancy were. Inconſtancy is a moſt commendable and cleanely quality, and Women in this quality are farre more abſolute than the Heavens, than the Starres, Moone, or any thing beneath it; for long obſervation hath pickt certainety out of their mutability. The Learned are ſo well acquainted with the Starres, Signes and Planets, that they make them but Characters, to reade the meaning of the Heaven in his owne forehead. Every ſimple Fellow can beſpeake the change of the Moone a great while beforehand: but I would faine have the learnedſt man ſo skilfull, as to tell [3] ]when the ſimpleſt Woman meaneth to varie. Learning affords no rules to know, much leſſe knowledge to rule the minde of a Woman: For as Philoſophy teacheth us, that Light things doe alwayes tend upwards, and heavy things decline downeward; Experience teacheth us otherwiſe, that the diſpoſition of a Light Woman, is to fall downe, the nature of Women being contrary to all Art and Nature. Women are like Flies, which feed among us at our Table, or Fleas ſucking our very blood, who leave not our moſt retired places free from their familiarity, yet for all their fellowſhip will they never bee tamed nor commanded by us. Women are like the Sunne, which is violently carryed one way, yet hath a proper courſe contrary: ſo though they, by the maſtery of ſome over-ruling churliſh Husbands, are forced to his Byas, yet have they a motion of their owne, which their Husbands never know of. It is the nature of nice and faſtidious mindes to know things onely to bee weary of them: Women by their ſlye changeableneſſe, and pleaſing doubleneſſe, prevent even the miſlike of thoſe, for they can never be ſo well knowne, but that there is ſtill more unknowne. Every Woman is a Science; for hee that plods upon a Woman all his life [4] ]long, ſhall at length find himſelfe ſhort of the knowledge of her: they are borne to take downe the pride of wit, and ambition of wiſedome, making fooles wiſe in the adventuring to winne them, wiſemen fooles in conceit of loſing their labours; witty men ſtarke mad, being confounded with their uncertaineties. Philoſophers write againſt them for ſpight, not deſert, that having attained to ſome knowledge in all other things, in them onely they know nothing, but are meerely ignorant: Active and Experienced men raile againſt them, becauſe they love in their liveleſſe and decrepit age, when all goodneſſe leaves them. Theſe envious Libellers ballad againſt them, becauſe having nothing in themſelves able to deſerve their love, they maliciouſly diſcommend all they cannot obtaine, thinking to make men beleeve they know much, becauſe they are able to diſpraiſe much, and rage againſt Inconſtancy, when they were never admitted into ſo much favour as to be forſaken. In mine Opinion ſuch men are happy that Women are Inconſtant, for ſo may they chance to bee beloved of ſome excellent Women (when it comes to their turne) out of their Inconſtancy and mutability, though not out of their owne deſert. And what [5] ]reaſon is there to clog any Woman with one Man, bee hee never ſo ſingular? Women had rather, and it is farre better and more Iudiciall to enjoy all the vertues in ſeverall Men, than but ſome of them in one, for otherwiſe they loſe their taſte, like divers ſorts of meat minced together in one diſh: and to have all excellencies in one Man (if it were poſſible) is Confuſion and Diverſity. Now who can deny, but ſuch as are obſtinately bent to undervalue their worth, are thoſe that have not ſoule enough to comprehend their excellency, Women being the moſt excellenteſt Creatures, in that Man is able to ſubject all things elſe, and to grow wiſe in every thing, but ſtill perſiſts a foole in Woman? The greateſt Scholler, if hee once take a Wife, is found ſo unlearned, that he muſt begin his Horne-booke, and all is by Inconſtancy. To conclude therefore; this name of Inconſtancy, which hath ſo much beene poyſoned with ſlaunders, ought to bee changed into variety, for the which the world is ſo delightfull, and a Woman for that the moſt delightfull thing in this world.
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2.
That Women ought to paint.
