Having signed, I forwarded that letter, and thought I had managed the affair nicely. I put in this expense account of two thousand two hundred and twenty dollars just to show off, and help Brigham to something from the Government. It was the way his Indian farmers all did. I never gave the Indians one of the articles named in the letter. No one of the men mentioned had furnished anything to the Indians, but I did it this way for safety. Brigham never spent a dollar on the Indians while he was Indian Agent. The only money he ever spent on the Indians was when we were at war with them. Then they cost us some money, but not much.
Brigham, knowing that I wrote this letter solely for the protection of the brethren, used it in making up his report to the Government. I obeyed his orders in this, as I did at the Mountain Meadows. I acted conscientiously, and have nothing to blame myself for.
The following winter I was a delegate to the Constitutional Convention that met in Salt Lake City to form a constitution preparatory to the application of Utah for admission into the Union. I attended during the entire session, and was often in company with Brigham at his house and elsewhere, and he treated me with kindness and consideration.
At the close of the session of the Convention I was directed by Brigham to assume charge of the cattle and other property captured from the emigrants, and take care of it for the Indians. When I got home I gathered up about two hundred head of cattle and put my brand on them, and gave them to the Indians as they needed them, or rather when they demanded them. I did that until all of the emigrant cattle were gone.
The taking care of that property was unfortunate, for afterward when the Indians wanted beef they thought they owned everything with my brand on. So much so, that I quit branding my stock. I preferred leaving them unbranded, for everything with my brand on would be taken by the Indians. I know it has been reported that the emigrants were very rich. That is a mistake. Their only wealth was in cattle and teams. The people were comfortably dressed in Kentucky jeans and lindsey, but they had no fine clothing that I ever saw. They had but few watches.
While in Cedar City Brigham preached one night. In his sermon, when speaking of the Mountain Meadows Massacre, he said:
"Do you know who those people were that were killed on the Mountain Meadows? I will tell you who those people were. They were fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, and children of those who killed the Saints and drove them from Missouri, and afterwards murdered our Prophets in Carthage jail. And yet after all this, I am told there are some of the brethren who are willing to swear against those who were engaged in that affair. I hope there is no truth in this report. I hope there is no such person here, under the sound of my voice. But if there is, I will tell him my opinion of him, and the fact so far as his fate is concerned. Unless he repent at once of that unholy intention, and keep the secret, he will die a dog's death, and go to hell. I must not hear of any treachery among my people."
These words of Brigham gave great comfort. They insured our safety and took away our fears.