SHERLOCK HOLMES once remarked: "By far, the most daring investigator and most successful elucidator of criminal mysteries is Martin Dhragnet, but unfortunately, he always gives you the impression of being HALF A ROGUE." In less than two years' time this same Dhragnet, having had charge of the famous case of THE INFAMOUS JOHN FRIEND in which THE DETHRONEMENT OF THE CITY BOSS was a possibility, sold out his principal client, SIR HENDER O'HALLORAN, V. C., THE MEMBER FOR ARCIS, and with two of the principals, THE GREIFFENSTEINS, FATHER AND SON, he fled to THE REPUBLIC OF CHILI, where they BEACHED KEELS, and on the following CHRISTMAS, with EMPTY POCKETS, and being in need of MONEY to buy the THINGS required on CHRISTMAS DAY, took a CHANCE by stealing THE GOLDEN DOG of THE PRESIDENT OF QUEX: escaped capture, under the cover of one of those dark ARIZONA NIGHTS, by crossing to BOLIVIA, where as ELECTRIC ARCS were in use on dark nights, they were finally CAGED; but this is THE SECRET HISTORY OF TO-DAY, and really digression.
Dhragnet finally escaped WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE, by gnawing a hole through the WHITE PINE boards of his TINDERBOX prison, swam the OCEAN and THE PANAMA CANAL, and with THREE MEN IN A BOAT, crossed the Atlantic to FRANCE; retired to a secluded spot in BRITTANY: then travelled in CENTRAL ASIA AND TIBET: played THE HONEST LAWYER, INSIDE THE GERMAN EMPIRE, hobnobbed with KINGS AND QUEENS on the RIVIERA, and IN MONTE CARLO, met AN AMERICAN GIRL, called the CAPTIVATING MARY CARSTAIRS, with whom he became infatuated, as she had a bank account, and notwithstanding the fact that all her friends said, "Oh: MARY MARY, you are sailing UNCHARTED SEAS," she was CAUGHT IN THE NET, and they were MARRIED, and the bank account disappeared, as Dhragnet was given A FREE HAND: after THE STORM, THE BAD TIMES came; he then formed, secretly of course, THE ROBBERIES CO. LTD., grew a beard, and drifted to ENGLAND; located in LONDON: formed the firm of DOMBEY & SON, in Suite 813, NUMBER 101, PARK LANE, as purveyors of wines and where every BRAND was on sale except the one you wanted.
Strange as it may seem, Dhragnet, alias Dombey, had given considerable thought to THE DRINK PROBLEM IN MODERN LIFE, and to all appearances did nothing more than play DOMINOES and EAT AND GROW THIN; however, he was merely KEEPING UP APPEARANCES, for the rear room of this suite was the rendezvous of MANY FAMOUS IMPOSTERS, HYPOCRITES AND SINNERS: THE SHORT CUT to prison.
[ V: WHAT THE VILLAIN DID.]
IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, and after strangling with a POISON BELT, THE FOX TERRIER, asleep BEHIND THE SCREEN, and then removing his BOOTS, the INTRUDER, Martin Dhragnet, keeping well within the SHADOW of the CANDLE LIGHT, [stealthily approached] the couch, upon which the girl, Marjorie, had thrown herself, but a short time before, to read for a fifth time, the LETTERS OF HORACE WALPOLE as she had become much interested in THE CASE OF DR. HORACE; but five times are too many to read, no matter whose LETTERS they are and she was soon IN THE CLOUDS, and SLEEP overcame her.
Dhragnet gave the figure a LIGHT touch, at the same time muttering, "MY CAPTIVE, LITTLE NEMO IN SLUMBERLAND:" but THE LAW OF LIFE at once asserted itself, for THE HUMAN TOUCH awakened the girl, but chloroform soon silenced her, and throwing one of the ORIENTAL RUGS over the form, and leaving his boots behind, and which fortunately for him, did not, later, give a clue to the owner, THE INVADER carried his burden to THE ONE WAY OUT, down THE CIRCULAR STAIRCASE, out INTO THE NIGHT, where THE ACCOMPLICE, one of THE GANG, awaited him, and taking THE MIDDLE COURSE across the YARD AND GARDEN, the TWO SINNERS passed out upon THE COUNTRY ROAD, THE ROAD made famous by JOHN GILPIN, and none too soon, for THE TENANTS OF THE TREES were BEGINNING to announce the approach of DAWN, the end of THE LONG NIGHT, THE MORNING OF TO-DAY.
Marjorie was indeed KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES, as the TESTIMONY OF WITNESSES, had there been any, later on, would have proved. A short walk along THE DRUID PATH brought THE GENTLEMAN with the KIDNAPPED girl and CHERRY, his pal, to DEEP MOAT GRANGE, where a motor awaited them.
"Now, PICCADILLY JIM, don't ask any FOOLISH QUESTIONS," said Dhragnet, THE DAREDEVIL; "don't stand there as if you had been STRUCK BY LIGHTNING: this is not A FOOL'S ERRAND: we've not COME OUT TO PLAY: GREAT SNAKES, I LITTLE KNEW what a HANDICAP the girl was going to be, an' I never have much SUCCESS WITH HENS, an' she must weigh a ton, I GUESS: but WHEN THE HOUR CAME, and IN SPITE OF THE HANDICAP, I had to grab her ROYAL HIGHNESS and skip; but THE DANGER MARK is passed, an' we'll soon have POLLY PEACHUM, IN CHAINS, aboard our merry captain's leaky OLD CIDER MILL: grind your engine, LADDIE, and get away from this DESERTED VILLAGE, for this may be a ZEPPELIN NIGHT, an' you know only innocent people, like ourselves, are killed on those nights, an' don't get twisted up in your untied SHOESTRINGS, an' don't SOUND your horn."
And THE MAN AT THE WHEEL soon had the motor ON SIXTH SPEED, rushing in FULL SWING, along THE ROMANTIC ROAD.