Bri. They shall be ready Sir, within these two houres;
And Charles set his hand. Lew. 'Tis necessary;
For he being a joint purchaser, though your state
Was got by your owne industrie, unlesse
He seale to the Conveyance, it can be
Of no validity. Bri. He shall be ready,
And do it willingly. Mir. He shall be hang'd first.
Bri. I hope your daughter likes. Lew. S[h]e loves him well Sir.
Young Eustace is a bait to catch a woman,
A budding spritely fellow; y'are resolved then,
That all shall passe from Charles. Bri. All all, hee's nothing,
A bunch of bookes shall be his patrimony,
And more then he can manage too. Lew. Will your brother
Passe over his land to, to your son Eustace?
You know he has no heire. Mir. He will be flead first,
And horse-collars made of 's skin! Bri. let him alone,
A wilful man; my state shall serve the turne, Sir.
And how does your Daughter? Lew. Ready for the houre,
And like a blushing Rose that staies the pulling.
Bri. To morrow, then's the day. Lew. Why then to morrow Ile bring the Girle; get you the Writings ready.
Mir. But hark you Monsieur, have you the vertuous conscience
To help to robb an heire, an Elder Brother,
Of that which Nature and the Law flings on him?
You were your fathers eldest son, I take it,
And had his Land, would you had had his wit too,
Or his discretion to consider nobly,
What 'tis to deale unworthily in these things;
You'l say hee's none of yours, he's his son;
And he will say, he is no son to inherit
Above a shelfe of Bookes; Why did he get him?
Why was he brought up to write and reade, and know things?
Why was he not like his father, a dumbe Justice?
A flat dull peece of flegme, shap'd like a man,
A reverend Idoll in a peece of arras?
Can you lay disobedience, want of manners,
Or any capital crime to his charge? Lew. I doe not,
Nor do not weigh your words, they bite not me, Sir;
This man must answer. Bri. I have don't already.
And giv'n sufficient reason to secure me;
And so good morrow brother to your patience.
Lew. Good morrow Monsieur Miramont. Mir. Good night-caps
Keepe braines warme, or Maggots will breed in 'm.
Well Charles, thou shall not want to buy thee bookes yet,
The fairest in thy study are my gift,
And the University Lovaine for thy sake,
Hath tasted of my bounty, and to vex
Th' old doting foole thy father, and thy brother,
They shall not share a Solz of mine between them;
Nay more, Ile give thee eight thousand Crowns a year,
In some high strain to write my Epitaph.
Actus II. Scaena II.
Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy.
How do I look now my elder Brother?
Nay, t'is a handsome Suit. Cow. All courtly, courtly.
Eust. Ile assure ye Gentlemen, my Taylor has travail'd,
And speaks as lofty Language in his bills too;
The cover of an old Book would not shew thus.
Fye, fie; what things these Academicks are?
These book-worms, how they look! Egr. Th'are mere Images,
No gentle motion nor behaviour in 'm,
They'l prattle ye of primum mobile,
And tell a story of the state of Heaven,
What Lords and Ladies govern in such houses,
And what wonders they do when they meet together,
And how they spit snow, fire, and hail like a Jugler,
And make a noise when they are drunk, which we call Thunder.
Cow. They are the sneaking'st things, and the contemptiblest;
Such small-beer brains, but aske 'em any thing
Out of the Element of their understanding,
And they stand gaping like a roasted Pig;
Do they know what a Court is or a Councel,
Or how th' affairs of Christendome are manag'd?
Do they know any thing but a tyred hackney?
And they cry absurd as the Horse understood 'em.
They have made a fair youth of your elder brother,
A pretty piece of flesh. Eust. I thank 'm for it,
Long may he study to give me his state.
Saw you my Mistress? Egre. Yes, shees a sweet young woman,
But be sure you keep her from Learning. Eust. Songs she
May have, and read a little unbak'd Poetry,
Such as the Dablers of our time contrive,
That has no weight nor wheel to move the mind,
Nor indeed nothing but an empty sound;
She shall have cloaths, but not made by Geometry;
Horses and Coach, but of no immortal race;
I will not have a Scholar in mine house
Above a gentle Reader; They corrupt
The foolish women with their subtle problems;
Ile have my house call'd Ignorance, to fright
Prating Philosophers from entertainment.