My increasing debility had for some time obliged me to use a stick for the purpose of extending my arms; the pain in my shoulders being so acute, that I could not bear them to remain in the usual position for two minutes together. We halted at five among some small brushwood, and made a sorry meal of an old pair of leather trowsers, and some swamp tea.
The night was cold with a hard frost, and though two persons slept together, yet we could not by any means keep ourselves warm, but remained trembling the whole time. The following morning we crossed several lakes, occasionally seeing the recent tracks of deer, and at noon we fell upon Marten Lake; it happened to be at the exact spot where we had been the last year with the canoes, yet though I immediately recognised the place, the men would not believe it to be the same; at length, by pointing out several marks, and relating circumstances connected with them, they recovered their memory, and a simultaneous expression of "Mon Dieu, nous sommes [sauvés]," broke from the whole. Contrary to our expectations the lake was frozen sufficiently to bear us, so that we were excused from making the tours of the different bays. This circumstance seemed to impart fresh vigour to us, and we walked as fast as the extreme smoothness of the ice would permit, intending to reach the Slave Rock that night; but an unforeseen and almost fatal accident prevented the prosecution of our plan: Belanger (who seemed the victim of misfortune) again broke through the ice, in a deep part near the head of the rapid, but was timely saved by our fastening our worsted belts together, and pulling him out. By urging him forwards as quick as his icy garments would admit, to prevent his freezing, we reached a few pines, and kindled a fire; but it was late before he even felt warm, though he was so near the flame as to burn his hair twice; and to add to our distress, (since we could not pursue them,) three wolves crossed the lake close to us.
The night of the 7th was extremely stormy, and about ten the following morning, on attempting to go on, we found it totally impossible, being too feeble to oppose the wind and drift, which frequently blew us over, and on attempting to cross a small lake that lay in our way, drove us faster backwards, than with every effort, we could get forwards; we therefore encamped under the shelter of a small clump of pines, secure from the south-west storm that was raging around us. In the evening, there being no tripe de roche, we were compelled to satisfy, or rather allay the cravings of hunger, by eating a gun cover and a pair of old shoes; at this time I had scarcely strength to get on my legs.
The wind did not in the least abate during the night, but in the morning of the 9th it changed to north-east and became moderate. We took advantage of this circumstance, and rising with great difficulty, set out; though had it not been for the hope of reaching the house, I am certain, from the excessive faintness which almost overpowered me, that I must have remained where I was. We passed the Slave Rock, and making frequent halts, arrived within a short distance of Fort Enterprise; but as we perceived neither any marks of Indians, nor even of animals, the men began absolutely to despair: on a nearer approach, however, the tracks of large herds of deer, which had only passed a few hours, tended a little to revive their spirits, and shortly after we crossed the ruinous threshold of the long-sought spot; but what was our surprise, what our sensations, at beholding every thing in the most desolate and neglected state; the doors and windows of that room in which we expected to find provision, had been thrown down and the wild animals of the woods had resorted there as to a place of shelter and retreat. Mr. Wentzel had taken away the trunks and papers, but had left no note to guide us to the Indians. This was to us the most grievous disappointment: without the assistance of the Indians, bereft of every resource, we felt ourselves reduced to the most miserable state, which was rendered still worse, from the recollection that our friends in the rear were as miserable [as] ourselves. For the moment, however, hunger prevailed, and each began to gnaw the scraps of putrid and frozen meat that were lying about, without waiting to prepare them. A fire, however, was made, and the neck and bones of a deer, found in the house, were boiled and devoured.
I determined to remain a day here to repose; then to go in search of the Indians, and in the event of missing them, to proceed to the first trading establishment, which was distant about one hundred and thirty miles, and from thence to send succour to my companions. This indeed I should have done immediately, as the most certain manner of executing my purpose, had there been any probability of the river and lakes being frozen to the southward, or had we possessed sufficient strength to have clambered over the rocks and mountains which impeded the direct way; but as we were aware of our inability to do so, I listened to St. Germain's proposal, which was, to follow the deer into the woods, (so long as they did not lead us out of our route to the Indians,) and if possible to collect sufficient food to carry us to Fort Providence. We now set about making mittens and snow shoes, whilst Belanger searched under the snow, and collected a mass of old bones, which when burned and used with a little salt we found palatable enough, and made a tolerable [meal.] At night St. Germain returned, having seen plenty of tracks, but no animals; the day was cloudy, with fresh breezes, and the river was frozen at the borders.
On the 11th we prepared for our journey, having first collected a few old skins of deer, to serve us as food; and written a note to be left for our commander, to apprize him of our intentions. We pursued the course of the river to the lower lake, when St. Germain fell in, which obliged us to encamp directly to prevent his being frozen; indeed we were all glad to rest, for in our meagre and reduced state it was impossible to resist the weather, which at any other time would have been thought fine; my toes were frozen, and although wrapped up in a blanket I could not keep my hands warm.
The 12th was excessively cold with fresh breezes. Our meal at night consisted of scraps of old deer skins and swamp tea, and the men complained greatly of their increasing debility. The following morning I sent St. Germain to hunt, intending to go some distance down the lake, but the weather becoming exceedingly thick with snow storms, we were prevented from moving. He returned without success, not having seen any animals. We had nothing to eat.
In the morning of the 14th the part of the lake before us was quite frozen. There was so much uncertainty in St. Germain's answers as to the chance of any Indians being in the direction we were then going, (although he had previously said that the leader had told him he should be there) and he gave me so much dissatisfaction in his hunting excursions, that I was induced to send a note to the Commander, whom I supposed to be by this time at Fort Enterprise, to inform him of our situation; not that I imagined for a moment he could amend it, but that by all returning to the fort we might, perhaps, have better success in hunting; with this view I despatched Belanger, much against his inclination, and told him to return as quickly as possible to a place about four miles further on, where we intended to fish, and to await his arrival. The men were so weak this day, that I could get neither of them to move from the encampment; and it was only necessity that compelled them to cut wood for fuel, in performing which operation Beauparlant's face became so dreadfully swelled that he could scarcely see; I myself lost my temper on the most trivial circumstances, and was become very peevish; the day was fine but cold, with a freezing north-east wind. We had nothing to eat.
October 15.—The night was calm and clear, but it was not before two in the afternoon that we set out; and the one was so weak, and the other so full of complaints, that we did not get more than three-quarters of a mile from our last encampment, before we were obliged to put up; but in this distance we were fortunate enough to kill a partridge, the bones of which were eaten, and the remainder reserved for baits to fish with. We, however, collected sufficient tripe de roche to make a meal: and I anxiously awaited Belanger's return, to know what course to take. I was now so much reduced, that my shoulders were as if they would fall from my body, my legs seemed unable to support me, and in the disposition in which I then found myself, had it not been for the remembrance of my friends behind, who relied on me for relief, as well as the persons of whom I had charge, I certainly should have preferred remaining where I was, to the miserable pain of attempting to move.
October 16.—We waited until two in the afternoon for Belanger; but not seeing any thing of him on the lake, we set out, purposing to encamp at the Narrows, the place which was said to be so good for fishing, and where, according to St. Germain's account, the Indians never failed to catch plenty; its distance at most could not be more than two miles. We had not proceeded far before Beauparlant began to complain of increasing weakness; but this was so usual with us that no particular notice was taken of it, for in fact there was little difference, all being alike feeble: among other things, he said whilst we were resting, that he should never get beyond the next encampment, for his strength had quite failed him. I endeavoured to encourage him by explaining the mercy of the Supreme Being, who ever beholds with an eye of pity those that seek his aid. This passed as common discourse, when he inquired where we were to put up; St. Germain pointed to a small clump of pines near us, the only place indeed that offered for fuel. "Well," replied the poor man, "take your axe Mr. Back, and I will follow at my leisure, I shall join you by the time the encampment is made." This is a usual practice of the country, and St. Germain and myself went on towards the spot; it was five o'clock and not very cold, but rather milder than we had experienced it for some time, when on leaving the ice, we saw a number of crows perched on the top of some high pines near us. St. Germain immediately said there must be some dead animal thereabouts, and proceeded to search, when we saw several heads of deer half buried in the snow and ice, without eyes or tongues: the previous severity of the weather having obliged the wolves and other animals to abandon them. An expression of "Oh merciful God! we are saved," broke from us both; and with feelings more easily imagined than described, we shook hands, not knowing what to say for joy. It was twilight, and a fog was rapidly darkening the surface of the lake, when St. Germain commenced making the encampment; the task was too laborious for me to render him any assistance, and had we not thus providentially found provision, I feel convinced that the next twenty-four hours would have terminated my existence. But this good fortune in some measure renovated me for the moment, and putting out my whole strength I contrived to collect a few heads, and with incredible difficulty carried them singly about thirty paces to the fire.