‘Time,’ replied the Leddy, ‘ye ken, as I hae often heard my father say, was no item in law; and unless there’s a statute of vagrancy in the Decisions, or the Raging Magistratom, there can be no doot that I hae’t in my power to put what value I please on my house, servitude, and expense, which is the strong ground of the case. Therefore, you will write a letter forthwith to Mr. Milrookit of Kittlestonheugh, charging him with a lawful debt, and a’ justly due to me, of one thousand pounds, without condescending on particulars at present, as the damages can be afterwards assessed, when we hae gotten payment of the principal, which everybody must allow is a most liberal offer on my part.’
It was with some difficulty that Mr. Pitwinnoch could preserve himself in a proper state of solemnity to listen to the instructions of his client; but what lawyer would laugh, even in his own ‘bottomless pit’? However, he said,—
‘Undoubtedly, Mrs. Walkinshaw, you have a good ground of action; but, perhaps, I may be able to effect an amicable arrangement, if you would submit the business to arbitration.’
‘Arbitration, Mr. Pitwinnoch!’ exclaimed the Leddy; ‘never propound such a thing to me; for often hae I heard my father say, that arbitration was the greatest cut-throat of legal proceedings that had been devised since the discovery of justice at Amalphi. Na, na—I hae mair sense than to virdict my case wi’ any sic pannelling as arbitration. So, law being my only remeid, I hope ye’ll leave no stone unturned till you hae brought Mr. Milrookit’s nose to the grindstone; and to help you to haud it there, I hae brought a five pound note as hansel for good luck,—this being the first traffic in legalities that I hae had on my own bottom; for, in the concos mentos o’ Watty, my son, ye ken I was keepit back, in order to be brought forward as a witness; but there is no need o’ ony decreet o’ court for such an interlocutor on the present occasion.’
The Leddy having, in this clear and learned manner, delivered her instructions, she left the office, and soon after Milrookit was also shown into ‘the bottomless pit,’ where he gave an account of the transaction, somewhat different, but, perhaps, no nearer the truth. He was, however, not a little surprised to find the pursuer had been there before him, and that she had instructed proceedings. But what struck him with the greatest consternation was a suggestion from Mr. Pitwinnoch to compromise the matter.
‘Take my advice, Mr. Milrookit,’ said he, ‘and settle this quietly—there is no saying what a law-suit may lead to; and, considering the circumstances under which you hold the estate, don’t stir, lest the sleeping dog awake. Let us pacify the old Leddy with two or three hundred pounds.’
‘Two or three hundred pounds, for six weeks of starvation! The thing, Mr. Pitwinnoch, is ridiculous.’
‘True, sir,’ replied the lawyer; ‘but then the state of the Entail—you should consider that. Be thankful if she will take a couple of hundreds.’
‘Nay, if you counsel me to do that, I have no alternative, and must submit.’
‘You will do wisely in at once agreeing,’ said Pitwinnoch; and, after some further conversation to the same effect, Milrookit gave a cheque for two hundred pounds, and retired grumbling.