Clink. Thou destroyer of learning, thou worse than a book-worm; thou hast put me beyond all patience. Remember how my lyrick ode bound about a tallow-candle; thy wrapping up snuff in an epigram; nay, the unworthy usage of my hymn to Apollo, filthy creature! read me the last lines I writ upon the deluge, and take care to pronounce them as I taught you.
Maid. Swell'd with a dropsy, sickly nature lies,
And melting in a diabetes, dies.
[Reads with an affected tone.
Clink. Still without cadence!
Maid. Swell'd with a dropsy——
Clink. Hold. I conceive——
The roaring seas o'er the tall woods have broke,
And whales now perch upon the sturdy oak.
Roaring? stay. Rumbling, roaring, rustling, no; raging seas. [Writing.
The raging seas o'er the tall woods have broke,
Now perch, thou whale, upon the sturdy oak.
Sturdy oak? no; steady, strong, strapping, stiff. Stiff? no, stiff is too short.
Fossile and Townley come forward.
What feast for fish! Oh too luxurious treat!
When hungry dolphins feed on butchers meat.
Foss. Niece, why niece, niece? oh, Melpomene, thou goddess of tragedy, suspend thy influence for a moment, and suffer my niece to give me a rational answer. This lady is a friend of mine; her present circumstances oblige her to take sanctuary in my house; treat her with the utmost civility. Let the tea-table be made ready.
Clink. Madam, excuse this absence of mind; my animal spirits had deserted the avenues of my senses, and retired to the recesses of the brain, to contemplate a beautiful idea. I could not force the vagrant creatures back again into their posts, to move those parts of the body that express civility.
Town. A rare affected creature this! if I mistake not, flattery will make her an useful tool for my purpose.
[Aside.
[Exeunt Townley, Clinket, and Maid.