[Whenever Fossile goes to conduct Ptisan to the door, Sarsnet and Townley attempt to whisper; Fossile gets between them, and Ptisan takes that opportunity of coming back.
Ptis. Then, sir, there is miss Chitty of the boarding-school has taken in no natural sustenance for this week, but a halfpeny worth of charcoal, and one of her mittens.
Foss. Sarsnet, do you wait on Mr Ptisan to the door. To morrow let my patients know I'll visit round.
[A knocking at the door.
Ptis. Oh, Sir; here is a servant of the countess of Hippokekoana. The emetick has over-wrought and she is in convulsions.
Foss. This is unfortunate. Then I must go. Mr. Ptisan, my dear, has some business with me in private. Retire into my closet a moment, and divert yourself with the pictures. There lies your way, madam.
[To Sarsnet.
[Exit Townley at one door and Sarsnet at the other.
Mr. Ptisan, pray, do you run before, and tell them I am just coming.
[Exit Ptisan.
All my distresses come on the neck of one another. Should this fellow get to my bride before I have bedded her, in a collection of cuckolds, what a rarity should I make! what shall I do? I'll lock her up. Lock up my bride? [my pace and my honour] demand it, and it shall be so. [Locks the door.] Thomas, Thomas!
Enter footman.
I dream't last night I was robb'd. The town is over-run with rogues. Who knows but the rascal that sent the letter may be now in the house? [Aside.] Look up the chimney, search all the dark closets, the coal hole, the flower-pots, and forget not the empty butt in the cellar. Keep a strict watch at the door, and let no body in till my return.
[Exit footman. A noise at the closet-door.