“I had a man to keep the house who was a schismatic, but otherwise an honest and upright person. When I was in residence, this man provided me with necessaries; and when I was away, he managed any business for me according to my written directions. In all appearance he was the servant of the gentleman who owned the house, and so he was esteemed and called by the neighbours; and since, as a schismatic, he frequented their churches, they entertained no suspicion of him, nor of the house.
“For myself, when I came to town, I always entered the house after dark, and in summer time scarce ever went out while I remained there. But my friends would come to visit me by ones and twos on different days, that no special attention might be drawn to the house from the number of visitors. Nor did they ever bring any servants with them, though some were of very high rank, and usually went about with a large number of attendants. By these means I provided better for them and for myself, and was able to continue longer in this way of life....”
“When I was in London I did not allow every one to come to my house whose desire to converse with me I was willing to gratify; but I would sometimes, especially after dark in winter time, go myself to their houses. On one occasion I was asked [pg clix] by a certain lady to her house to hear the confession of a young nobleman attached to the Court, who was a dear friend of her husband's. Her husband was also a Catholic and well known to me: though quite a young man, he had been one of the principal captains in the Irish war. And the young nobleman just mentioned was a Baron, and son to an Irish Earl, and at this present writing he has himself succeeded to the earldom on his father's death.[122] This young Baron, then,” Lord Dunkellin, “wished to make his confession to me. As I had not known him before, I put a few questions to him, according to my wont, beforehand. I asked him, therefore, if he was prepared at once. He answered that he was. I then asked how often in the year he was accustomed to go to the Sacraments. ‘Twice or thrice in the year,’ he said.
“ ‘It would be better,’ said I, ‘to come more frequently, and then less preparation would be necessary. As it is, I should advise you to take a few days for the exact and diligent examination of your conscience, according to the method that I will show you; then you will come with greater fruit, and with greater satisfaction to yourself and to me. And for the future I would recommend a more frequent use of the holy Sacraments.’ And I brought some reasons for my advice.
“He listened to me very patiently, and when I had finished he replied, ‘I will do in future what you recommend, and I would willingly follow your counsel at present, if it were possible; it is, however, impossible to put off my present confession.’
“ ‘Why is it impossible?’ I asked.
“ ‘Because,’ he replied, ‘to-morrow I shall be in circumstances of danger, and I desire to prepare myself by confession to-day.’
“ ‘What danger is this,’ I asked again, ‘to which you will be exposed?’
“ ‘There is a gentleman at Court,’ he said, ‘who has grievously insulted me, so that I was compelled in defence of [pg clx] my honour to challenge him to single combat, and we meet to-morrow at an appointed spot at some distance from town.’
“ ‘My lord,’ I exclaimed, ‘to approach the Sacrament in such a frame of mind is not to prepare yourself for danger, nor to cleanse your soul (though I doubt not it was with a good intention you proposed it), but rather to sully your soul more than ever, to affront God still further, and render Him still more your enemy. For to come to confession with a determination of taking vengeance is to put an obstacle to the grace of the Sacrament; and, moreover, this particular action on which you are resolved is not only a sin, but is visited with excommunication. I urge you, therefore, to give up this intention; you will be able to preserve your honour by some other way. Nay, the honour you think to preserve by this is not real honour, but merely the estimation of bad men founded on bad principles: men who exalt their own worldly ideas above the law and honour of God.’