The most interesting fact about the performance was that, included in the program by a strange stroke of irony, Maurice Maeterlinck's play L'Intruse made on this occasion its first appearance on the stage. Death walked the stage before Gauguin's eyes, as if to show him what to expect. And yet he did not draw back.
On the fourth of April 1891, Gauguin, abandoning Paris, started on his voyage of discovery to Tahiti. Morice, in his interesting book on Gauguin, declares that when the decision was irrevocably made, and the mission to Tahiti had been stamped with official approval, Gauguin's self-possession momentarily abandoned him, and he broke down, and wept. And when Morice asked the reason, he replied in these strange, tragic, touching words:—
"Listen to me.... I have never known how to keep alive both my family and my thought. I have not even been able, up to now, to keep alive my thought alone. And now that I can hope for the future, I feel more terribly than I have ever felt, the horror of the sacrifice I have made, which is utterly irreparable."
With this knowledge in his heart, Gauguin abandoned civilization.
[1] Les Marges, Paris, May 15, 1918.
[2] Gauguin had also undoubtedly read Loti's book. His letters show that before deciding upon Tahiti he had considered the possibility of going to Tonkin or Madagascar.
[3] It may be noticed that Gauguin received no financial profit whatever from this performance, and Verlaine very little.
PART IV: THE RETURN TO SAVAGERY 1891-1895
I