The food is served first to the elders (male), and if visitors are present they take precedence according to their age. As a rule the members of a family are polite to one another, and any departure from the usual forms of courtesy is regarded with disapprobation by the other members of the family. Guests are treated with hospitality, and are protected by the family they are visiting; and I never knew a guest come to harm during a visit. Men and women do not eat together, as it is accounted immodest and indecent for a woman to eat with a man; and it is infra dig. for a man to partake of his food with a woman. They eat by themselves at some little distance, and usually out of sight and hearing of the men.
In dividing food, such as meat or fish, the one who divides it takes the portion left after all the others have selected their shares, and in this way they have a guarantee that all the portions are equal in size and quality. If a saucepan of fish and another of cassava are put before five or six persons for them to eat, no division is made, but all help themselves from the same saucepans, yet each will be very careful not to eat more than his fair share. But when a fish, or a lump of meat, is given to half a dozen men, or women, they appoint one to divide it into six lots, and the one to whom this very doubtful honour is given is careful to make all the lots equal—in bone, flesh, and fat—for he knows that the others will choose their portions before himself. Any greediness is condemned, and if persisted in others will refuse to eat with the offender, and he becomes an object of ridicule to the rest of the family and in the village.
The following story, which I often heard related around their evening fires, will well illustrate how the natives regarded any greediness about food:
“Mokwete possessed a large number of wives; and one day he made a trap and eventually snared an animal which he carried to his town and told his wives to cook. When they had cooked the meat they took him his share, and reserved a portion for themselves. Mokwete ate his meat alone, but it did not satisfy him, for having so many wives the portion of meat that fell to him was rather small.
“By and by he killed another animal, and he said to himself: ‘I kill plenty of animals, but get very little meat for myself, because my wives are so numerous.’ When he reached the forest near his town he disguised his voice and shouted: ‘Wives of Mokwete, wives of Mokwete.’
“They answered, ‘E!’ thinking it was a spirit calling them from the bush.
“Then he said: ‘When your husband comes with meat, you must not eat any of it; if you do, you will die.’
“In a little time he picked up the animal and went on to the town. The women cooked the meat and brought it all to him. He asked them why they had not taken any of it, and they told him what they had heard from one of the bush spirits. Mokwete ate all the meat, was well filled, and congratulated himself on the success of the ruse. He repeated this trick again and again.
Photo by: a Dutch Trader
Group of Boloki Women at Mobeka
The women are wearing skirts of palm-frond fibre. When “dressed” a young woman has fifteen of these skirts on, and then they stand out like a ballet-girl’s dress. Some of the older ones have the cock’s-comb tribal mark. Those without the tribal marking are slaves. The collar on the older woman is of solid brass and weighs about 15 lbs.