"Datsh what I shay—Nawndeark," declared Toddie.
"Well," said I, hastily refreshing my memory by picking up the Bible,—for Helen, like most people, is pretty sure to forget to pack her Bible when she runs away from home for a few days,—"well, once it rained forty days and nights, and everybody was drowned from the face of the earth excepting Noah, a righteous man, who was saved with all his family, in an ark which the Lord commanded him to build."
"Uncle Harry," said Budge, after contemplating me with open eyes and mouth for at least two minutes after I had finished, "do you think that's Noah?"
"Certainly, Budge; here's the whole story in the Bible."
"Well, I don't think it's Noah one single bit," said he, with increasing emphasis.
"I'm beginning to think we read different Bibles, Budge; but let's hear your version."
"Huh?"
"Tell me about Noah, if you know so much about him."
"I will, if you want me to. Once the Lord felt so uncomfortable 'cos folks was bad that he was sorry he ever made anybody, or any world or anything. But Noah wasn't bad—the Lord liked him first-rate, so he told Noah to build a big ark, and then the Lord would make it rain so everybody should be drownded but Noah an' his little boys an' girls, an' doggies, an' pussies, an' mamma cows, an' little-boy cows, an' little-girl cows, an' hosses, an' everything—they'd go in the ark an' wouldn't get wetted a bit, when it rained. An' Noah took lots of things to eat in the ark—cookies an' milk, an' oatmeal an' strawberries, an' porgies an'—oh, yes; an' plum puddin's an' pumpkin pies. But Noah didn't want everybody to get drownded, so he talked to folks an' said, 'It's goin' to rain awful pretty soon; you'd better be good, an' then the Lord'll let you come into my ark." An' they jus' said 'Oh, if it rains we'll go in the house till it stops'; an' other folks said, 'We ain't afraid of rain—we've got an umbrella.' An' some more said, they wasn't goin' to be afraid of just a rain. But it did rain, though, an' folks went in their houses an' the water came in, an' they got on the tops of the houses, an' up in big trees, an' up in mountains, an' the water went after 'em everywhere an' drownded everybody, only just except Noah and the people in the ark. An' it rained forty days an' nights, an' then it stopped, an' Noah got out of the ark, an' he an' his little boys an' girls went wherever they wanted to, an' everything in the world was all theirs; there wasn't anybody to tell 'em to go home, nor no Kindergarten schools to go to, nor no bad boys to fight 'em, nor nothin'. Now tell us 'nother story."
I determined that I would not again attempt to repeat portions of the Scripture narrative—my experience in that direction had not been encouraging. I ventured upon a war story.