“Oh! she’s used to it; she doesn’t mind it.”
“You’re the only person in town that thinks so, Sam,” said Fred.
Captain Crayme got up and paced his little state-room two or three times, with a face full of uncertainty. At last he replied,
“Well, between old friends, Fred, I don’t think so very strongly myself. Hang it! I wish I’d been brought up a preacher, or something of the kind, so I wouldn’t have had business ruining my chances of being the right sort of a family man. Emily don’t like my drinking, and I’ve promised to look up some other business; but ’tisn’t easy to get out of steamboating when you’ve got a good boat and a first-rate trade. Once she felt so awfully about it that I did swear off—don’t tell anybody, for God’s sake! but I did. I had to look out for my character along the river, though; so I swore off on the sly, and played sick. I’d give my orders to the mates and clerks from my bed in here, and then I’d lock myself in, and read novels and the Bible to keep from thinking. ’Twas awful dry work all around; but ‘whole hog or none’ is my style, you know. There was fun in it, though, to think of doing something that no other captain on the river ever did. But, thunder! by the time night came, I was so tired of loafing that I wrapped a blanket around my head and shoulders, like a Hoosier, sneaked out the outer door here, and walked the guards, between towns; but I was so frightened for fear some one would know me that the walk did me more harm than good. And blue! why a whole cargo of indigo would have looked like a snow-storm alongside of my feelings the second day; ’pon my word, Fred, I caught myself crying in the afternoon, just before dark, and I couldn’t find out what for either. I tell you, I was scared, and things got worse as time spun along; the dreams I had that night made me howl, and I felt worse yet when daylight came along again. Toward the next night I was just afraid to go to sleep; so I made up my mind to get well, go on duty, and dodge everybody that it seemed I ought to drink with. Why, the Lord bless your soul! the first time we shoved off from a town, I walked up to the bar, just as I always did after leaving towns; the barkeeper set out my particular bottle naturally enough, knowing nothing about my little game; I poured my couple of fingers, and dropped it down as innocent as a lamb before I knew what I was doing. By George! my boy, ’twas like opening lock-gates; I was just heavenly gay before morning. There was one good thing about it, though—I never told Emily I was going to swear off; I was going to surprise her, so I had the disappointment all to myself. Maybe she isn’t as happy as your wife; but, whatever else I’ve done, or not done, I’ve never lied to her.”
“It’s a pity you hadn’t promised her then, before you tried your experiment,” said Fred. The captain shook his head gravely and replied,
“I guess not; why, I’d have either killed somebody or killed myself if I’d gone on a day or two longer. I s’pose I’d have got along better if I’d had anybody to keep me company, or reason with me like a schoolmaster; but I hadn’t; I didn’t know anybody that I dared trust with a secret like that.”
“I hadn’t reformed then, eh?” queried Fred.
“You? why you’re one of the very fellows I dodged! Just as I got aboard the boat—I came down late, on purpose—I saw you out aft. I tell you, I was under my blankets, with a towel wrapped around my jaw, in about one minute, and was just a-praying that you hadn’t seen me come aboard.”
Fred laughed, but his laughter soon made place for a look of tender solicitude. The unexpected turn that had been reached in the conversation he had so dreaded, and the sympathy which had been awakened in him by Crayme’s confidence and openness, temporarily made of Fred Macdonald a man with whom Fred himself had never before been acquainted. A sudden idea struck him.
“Sam,” said he, “try it over again, and I’ll stay by you. I’ll nurse you, crack jokes, fight off the blues for you, keep your friends away. I’ll even break your neck for you, if you like, seeing it’s you if it’ll keep you straight.”