13. I will admit the force of constitution, but people are very apt to blame that for many things they might readily avoid. Care, with a little reflection, will soon give you this mastery of your temper and your countenance. If you find yourself subject to sudden starts of passion, determine with yourself not to utter a single word till your reason has recovered itself; and resolve to keep your countenance as unmoved as possible.
14. As a man who at a card-table can preserve a serenity in his looks, under good or bad luck, has considerably the advantage of one who appears elated with success, or cast down with ill fortune, from our being able to read his cards in his face; so the man of the world, having to deal with one of these babbling countenances, will take care to profit by the circumstance, let the consequence, to him with whom he deals, be as injurious as it may.
15. In the course of life, we shall find it necessary very often to put on a pleasing countenance when, we are exceedingly displeased; we must frequently seem friendly when we are quite otherwise. I am sensible it is difficult to accost a man with smiles whom we know to be our enemy: but what is to be done? On receiving an affront if you cannot be justified in knocking the offender down, you must not notice the offence; for in the eye of the world, taking an affront calmly is considered as cowardice.
16. If fools should at any time attempt to be witty upon you, the best way is not to know their witticisms are levelled at you, but to conceal any uneasiness it may give you: but, should they be so plain that you cannot be thought ignorant of their meaning, I would recommend, rather than quarrel with the company, joining even in the laugh against yourself: allow the jest to be a good one, and take it in seeming good humour. Never attempt to retaliate the same way, as that would imply you were hurt. Should what is said wound your honour or your moral character, there is but one proper reply, which I hope you will never be obliged to have recourse to.
17. Remember there are but two alternatives for a gentleman; extreme politeness, or the sword. If a man openly and designedly affronts you, call him oat; but if it does not amount to an open insult, be outwardly civil; if this does not make him ashamed of his behaviour, it will prejudice every by-stander in your favour, and instead of being disgraced, you will come off with honour. Politeness to those we do not respect, is no more a breach of faith than your humble servant at the bottom of a challenge; they are universally understood to be things of course.
18. Wrangling and quarreling are characteristics of a weak mind: leave that to the women, be you always above it. Enter into no sharp contest, and pride yourself in shewing, if possible, more civility to your antagonist than to any other in the company; this will infallibly bring over all the laughter to your side, and the person you are contending with will be very likely to confess you have behaved very handsomely throughout the whole affair.
19. Experience will teach us that though all men consist principally of the same materials, as I before took notice, yet from a difference in their proportion, no two men are uniformly the same: we differ from one another, and we often differ from ourselves, that is, we sometimes do things utterly inconsistent with the general tenor of our characters. The wisest man will occasionally do a weak thing: the most honest man, a wrong thing; the proudest man, a mean thing; and the worst of men will sometimes do a good thing.
20. On this account, our study of mankind should not be general; we should take a frequent view of individuals, and though we may upon the whole form a judgment of the man from his prevailing passion or his general character, yet it will be prudent not to determine, till we have waited to see the operation of his subordinate appetites and humours.
21. For example; a man's general character maybe that of strictly honest; I would not dispute it, because I would not be thought envious or malevolent; but I would not rely upon this general character, so as to entrust him with my fortune or my life. Should this honest man, as is not common, be my rival in power, interest, or love, he may possibly do things that in other circumstances he would abhor; and power, interest, and love, let me tell you, will often put honesty to the severest trial, and frequently overpower it. I would then ransack this honest man to the bottom, if I wished to trust him, and as I found him, would place my confidence accordingly.
22. One of the great compositions in our nature is vanity, to which, all men, more or less, give way. Women have an intolerable share of it. So flattery, no adulation is too gross for them; those who flatter them most please them best, and they are most in love with him who pretends to be most in love with them; and the least slight or contempt of them is never forgotten. It is in some measure the same with men; they will sooner pardon an injury than an insult, and are more hurt by contempt than by ill-usage. Though all men do not boast of superior talents, though they pretend not to the abilities of a Pope, a Newton, or a Bollingbroke, every one pretends to have common sense, and to discharge his office in life with common decency; to arraign therefore, in any shape, his abilities or integrity in the department he holds, is an insult he will not readily forgive.