6. If desired to play at cards deeper than you would, refuse it ludicrously; tell them, "If you were sure to lose, you might possibly sit down; but that as fortune may be favourable, you dread the thought of having too much money, ever since you found what an incumbrance it was to poor Harlequin, and therefore you are resolved never to put yourself in the way of winning more than such and such a sum a day." This light way of declining invitations to vice and folly, is more becoming a young man, than philosophical or sententious refusals, which would only be laughed at.
7. Now I am on the subject of cards, I must not omit mentioning the necessity of playing them well and genteelly, if you would be thought to have kept good company. I would by no means recommend playing at cards as a part of your study, lest you should grow too fond of it, and the consequences prove bad. It were better not to know a diamond from a club, than to become a gambler; but, as custom has introduced innocent card playing at most friendly meetings, it marks the gentleman to handle them genteelly, and play them well; and as I hope you will play only for small sums, should you lose your money pray lose it with temper: or win, receive your winnings without either elation or greediness.
8. To write well and correct, and in a pleasing style, is another part of polite education. Every man who has the use of his eyes and his right hand, can write whatever hand he pleases. Nothing is so illiberal as a school-boy's scrawl. I would not have you learn a stiff formal hand-writing, like that of a school-master, but a genteel, legible, and liberal hand, and to be able to write quick. As to the correctness and elegancy of your writing, attention to grammar does the one, and to the best authors, the other. Epistolary correspondence should not be carried on in a studied or affected style, but the language should flow from the pen, as naturally and as easily as it would from the mouth. In short, a letter should be penned in the same style as you would talk to your friend, if he was present.
9. If writing well shews the gentleman, much more so does spelling well. It is so essentially necessary for a gentleman, or a man of letters, that one false spelling may fix a ridicule on him for the remainder of his life. Words in books are generally well spelled, according to the orthography of the age; reading, therefore, with attention, will teach every one to spell right. It sometimes happens, that words shall be spelled differently by different authors; but, if you spell them upon the authority of one in estimation of the public, you will escape ridicule. Where there is but one way of spelling a word, by your spelling it wrong, you will be sure to be laughed at. For a woman of a tolerable education would laugh at and despise her lover, if he wrote to her, and the words were ill-spelled. Be particularly attentive, then, to your spelling.
10. There is nothing that a man at his first appearance in life ought more to dread than having any ridicule fixed on him. In the estimation even of the most rational men, it will not only lessen him, but ruin him with all the rest. Many a man has been undone by a ridiculous nick-name. The causes of nick-names among well-bred men, are generally the little defects in manner, air, or address. To have the appellation of ill-bred, aukward, muttering, left-legged, or any other tacked always to your name, would injure you more than you are aware of; avoid then these little defects (and they are easily avoided) and you need never fear a nick-name.
11. Some young men are apt to think, that they cannot be complete gentlemen, without becoming men of pleasure. A rake is made up of the meanest and most disgraceful vices. They all combine to degrade his character, and ruin his health, and fortune. A man of pleasure will refine upon the enjoyments of the age, attend them with decency, and partake of them becomingly.
12. Indeed he is too often less scrupulous than he should be, and frequently has cause to repent it. A man of pleasure, at best, is but a dissipated being, and what the rational part of mankind most abhor; I mention it, however, lest, in taking, up the man of pleasure, you should fall into the rake; for, of two evils, always chuse the least. A dissolute flagitious footman may make as good a rake as a man of the first quality. Few man can be men of pleasure; every man may be a rake.
13. There is a certain dignity that should be preserved in all our pleasures; in love, a man may lose his heart, without losing his nose; at table a man may have a distinguished palate, without being a glutton; he may love wine without being a drunkard; he may game without being a gambler, and so on.
14. Every virtue has its kindred vice, and every pleasure its neighbouring disgrace. Temperance and moderation mark the gentleman, but excess the blackguard. Attend carefully, then, to the line that divides them; and remember, stop rather a yard short, than step an inch beyond it. Weigh the present enjoyment of your pleasures against the necessary consequences of them, and I will leave you to your own determination.
15. A gentleman has ever some regard also to the choice of his amusements. If at cards, he will not be seen at cribbage, all-fours, or putt; or, in sports of exercise, at skittles, foot-ball, leap-frog, cricket, driving of coaches, &c. but will preserve a propriety in every part of his conduct; knowing, that any imitation of the manners of the mob, will unavoidably stamp him with vulgarity. There is another amusement too, which I cannot help calling illiberal, that is, playing upon any musical instrument.