13. Contain yourself also within the bounds of what you know; and never talk of things you are ignorant of, unless it be with a view to inform yourself. A person cannot fail in the observance of this rule, without making himself ridiculous; and yet how often do we see it transgressed! Some, who on war or politics could talk very well, will be perpetually haranguing on works of genius and the belles letters; others who are capable of reasoning, and would make a figure in grave discourse, will yet constantly aim at humour and pleasantry, though with the worst grace imaginable. Hence it is, that we see a man of merit sometimes appear like a coxcomb, and hear a man of genius talk like a fool.
14. Before you tell a story, it may be generally not amiss to draw a short character, and give the company a true idea of the principal persons concerned in it; the beauty of most things consisting not so much in their being said or done, as in their being said or done by such a particular person; or on such a particular occasion.
15. Notwithstanding all the advantages of youth, few young people please in conversation: the reason is, that want of experience makes them positive, and what they say, is rather with a design to please themselves, than any one else.
It is certain that age itself shall make many things pass well enough, which would have been laughed at in the mouth of one much younger.
16. Nothing, however, is more insupportable to men of sense, than an empty formal man who speaks in proverbs, and decides all controversies with a short sentence. This piece of stupidity is the more insufferable, as it puts on the air of wisdom.
Great talents for conversation requires to be accompanied with great politeness. He who eclipses others, owes them great civilities; and whatever a mistaken vanity may tell us, it is better to please in conversation, than to shine in it.
17. A prudent man will avoid talking much of any particular science, for which he is remarkably famous. There is not, methinks, an handsomer thing said of Mr. Cowley in his whole life, than, that none but his intimate friends ever discovered he was a great poet by his discourse. Besides the decency of this rule, it is certainly founded in good policy. A man who talks of any thing he is already famous for, has little to get, but a great deal to lose.
18. I might add, that he who is sometimes silent on a subject, where everyone is satisfied he would speak well, will often be thought no less knowing in any other matters where, perhaps, he is wholly ignorant.
Women are frightened at the name of argument, and are sooner convinced by an happy turn, or, witty expression, than by demonstration.
19. Whenever you commend, add your reasons for so doing; it is this which distinguishes the approbation of a man of sense, from the flattery of sycophants, and admiration of fools.