As weel be hung for a sheep as a lamb, aw thowt, soa aw gate two tickets an' we wor sooin in a furst class carriage speedin' on to Dover. Billy slept om-most all th' time an' when we landed it wor dark an' drizzlin' "Aw expect this is th' sooart o' weather we shall have all th' time," he sed, "aw allus consider this th' warst month i' th' year for onybody to set off in, an' nubdy i' ther reight wit ivver wod."
Ther wor noa time to tawk for we'd to get on th' booat as sooin as we could. This wor th' furst thing'at seemed to set Billy's bile reight agate o' workin'. "If aw'd a known'at we couldn't ha' gooan bi land aw'd ha' seen thee blowed befoor tha'd ha' getten me here! But it's just on a par wi' all tha does!—but if ivver aw live to get hooam awl remember thee for this! If mi mother knew shoo'd goa off'n her heead!"
Aw tuk hold ov his arm an' led him daan th' steps an' when he saw a table full o' bottled ale he seemed a little moor reconciled. We wor sooin off, but as sooin as th' booat began to roll Billy sed he'd goa up stairs, so we went on deck. When aw saw th' stewards an' stewardesses all grinnin' an' gettin' aght piles o' tin bowls an' buckets aw'd a guess what it meant. A nastier neet it could hardly ha' been, for it wor rainin' an' blowin' an' th' watter wor rougher nor aw'd ivver saw th' Atlantic Ocean. Aw thowt aw wor a pratty gooid sailor misen, but aw wor fain to let mi cigar goa aght. Billy had folded his arms raand a wire rooap an' ther wor noa mistak he intended to stick. Aw crept up to him in a bit, "Tha'rt varry quiet," aw sed, "what are ta thinkin' abaat?"
"Aw wor just thinkin' abaat that three quarters o' malt," he sed, "an' he lained his heead ovver th' side soa as he could study undisturbed. Just abaat that time it struck me'at aw'd heeard tell what a beautiful seet it wor to watch th' waves all glittering wi phosphorus, soa aw lained ovver to luk for it. Aw didn't see onny but that wom't my fault for aw nivver lifted mi heead up except once or twice to see if Billy wor thear an' aw saw he wor still studyin' abaat th' malt."
After abaat two haars o' scientific investigation o' that sooart, land, whether foreign or native, wor varry acceptable. We had to pass ovver a little bridge when we landed an' one chap took tickets an' another stood to ax what yo wor. "Are you English?" he axed Billy.
"What's ta think, muleface!" he sed, an' as he let him pass aw suppooas he wor satisfied'at he wor. We'd hauf an haar to wait for th' train to Payris, an' Billy made straight for th' refreshment raam. "Ha does ta feel?" aw sed.
"Aw all nowt, an' nivver should ha' done but for them mutton chops, an' aw tell'd thi mi stummack wodn't stand sich muck. Aw wish aw wor back hooam."
"Awm pratty weel sick on it misen," aw says, "an' if tha's a mind we'll goa straight back hooam."
"Nay, by-gow! aw've had enuff o' that booat-ridin' for to neet!"
After a dry biscuit an' a drop o' lemonade we gate into a comfortable carriage, worn aght an' weary, we booath fell asleep. When we wakkened th' sun wor shinin' an' we could see men an' wimmen at wark getherin' in th' harvest, ivverything lukt cheerful an' bonny. Th' whistle saanded an' th' train slackened speed an' we crept slowly into Payris at hauf-past six o' one o' th' grandest mornins aw ivver remember. When we gate aght o'th' station we lukt raan', wonderin' which way to goa to seek lodgins.