"Well, Sammy aw must say awm fain aw've come, an if tha's a mind, we'll get aght o' th' sun an' see if we can get summat to sup, but we will'nt have ale this time; aw dooant feel to care soa mich abaat it just nah. If tha's nowt agean it we'll join at one o' them bottles o' red ink; it can nobbut pooisen us'schews ha."
Aw felt soa mad wol aw could'nt help wishin' at it wod pooisen him for aw thowt he desarved it. We went to a bonny little place whear aw saw some bottles an' glasses, aw dooant know what to call it, but it wor a sooart ov a goa between a public haase an' a summer haase, an' aw managed to mak' a bonny young lass understand what we wanted, an' shoo sarved us wi a smilin' face an' as mich curtseyin' as if we'd gooan to ax abaat th' vallyation, an' when aw held aght a handful o' silver for her to tak pay aght on, shoo nobbut tuk one French shillin, an' yo can buy em at tuppence apiece less nor awrs. We thowt that wor bein' gentlemen at a varry cheap rate. Yo may hardly believe it, but aw've paid three times as mich for stuff'at has'nt been hauf as gooid,—"Aw call this reasonable," aw says.
"Cheap as muck," sed Billy, "its worth that mich to see a bonny lass like that—tha sees shoo's like a lady an' shoo knows manners too. Its a thaasand pities at shoo connot tawk gradely English."
"It is; shoo's to be pitied for that. English fowk have a deeal to be thankful for, but happen shoo's satisfied, for shoo'll be able to understand other fowk."
"Tha munnat tell me at a lass like yond can ivver be satisfied wi a lot o' gabberin' fowk at cant tawk soas to be understood, shoo's like yond buildin' we've just come throo, shoo owt to be put to a better purpose. A'a! what a brewus yond wod mak'!"
"Well, tha knows we've all noations ov us own, an' aw connot agree wi thee thear. Tha seems to care nowt abaat art, all tha thinks on is ale."
"Well, did ta ivver know onnybody at filled ther belly o' art? Nah aw've known monny a one do it wi ale. That's th' way to luk at it."
"It's thy way but it is'nt mine, but as time's gooin on lets goa into th' place whear all theas wonderful things are to be seen."
"Goa thi ways, for thar't th' mooast restless chap aw ivver knew, tha'rt like a worm on a whut backstun, an' if tha gets into a comfortable corner tha will'nt stop. It's nice an' cooil here, but awst be sweltered i' th' sunshine. If th' weather's owt like this at hooam it'll play the hangment wi yond galcar."
Awm net gooin to say mich abaat th' Exhibition for one or two reasons—furst is aw think it's been a deeal better done bi somdy else, an' second, it'll tak up soa mich time, an' ther's net monny fowk at has'nt seen one, an' they're all mackley—Its enuff to say at this licks all at's gooan befoor it, an' 'at noa Englishman had ony need to shame for his country, an' nubdy had moor cause for pride nor Yorksher fowk. We roamed abaat for an' haar or two but feastin' one's een does'nt satisfy th' stummack, an' soa aw hinted at we should goa to th' English buffet whear my guide book sed we could get owt we wanted to ait an' find fowk at could tawk English. As sooin as aw mentioned it Billy sed he cared nowt for a buffet, he'd a deeal rayther have a arm cheer, but when aw explained what it wor he wor ready enuff to goa. Awd been warned befoor aw coom abaat extortion an' roagery an' tell'd what awful charges they made for simple things, but aw meant havin summat daycent to ait whativver it cost—soa we sat daan an' ordered soop, an' a plate o' rost beef an' puttates, an' some roily polly puddin for a start, an' we thowt if that wornt enuff, we'd ax if they could give us a plate o' pie. We sooin gate throo th' soop, but we sat a long time waitin' for th' rost beef to follow. Next to Billy wor a Frenchman an' his wife,—(aw sup-pooas Frenchmen have wives sometimes,)—an' one o' th' waiters browt him a nice plate o' boiled chicken, soa we thowt, but he didnt seem to tak onny noatice on it but went on wi his tawkin—Billy kept lukkin first at him an' then at th' plate an' at last he turned to me an' says, "This chap doesnt seem hungry an' its a pity to see this gooin cold," soa he shifted th' plate an' began to wire in. It did'nt tak him aboon three minutes to finish th' lot an' he passed back th' empty plate,—an' just then th' waiter coom wi awr rost beef. We'd just getten fairly started when th' Frenchman turned raand to begin, an' when he saw th' plate wi nowt on it he lukt as if he could ha swallered them at had swallered his dinner, an' he called for th' waiter an' be th' way he shaated an' shrugged his shoolders it wor plain to be seen'at he wor lettin somdy have it hot, but that did'nt affect Billy for he wor cooil enough an' stuck to his mark like a brick, but this Frenchman wor detarmined net to let it drop soa easily, an' he stormed an' raved as if he'd been robbed ov a pop-ticket, "Whats to do wi this cranky fooil," sed Billy?