We walked daan th' river side an' grand it wor—th' watter is a deeal cleaner nor th' Thames, but th' river's varry narrow an' ther's bridges ivvery few yards. Th' steeam booats wor full o' gaily dressed men an' women, an' music wor playin, an scoars 0' little booats wor skimmin along; all lukt lively an' fowk seemed happy. At ivvery convenient spot ther wor men fishing wi ther long rods, an' lollin ith' sun watchin th' bit o' cork bob up an' daan ith' watter; an' aw may as weel mention it here; aw saw th' same chaps ivvery day ith' same spots, sometimes early ith' mornin, sometimes when it wor ommost to dark to see, noa matter whativver time aw passed they wor at ther old pooasts. Judgin bi ther dress they wornt fishin for a livin, an' after lukkin at ther baskets an' nivver bein able to see at one on em had getten owt, aw made it aght at they must be fishin for enjoyment, an' aw hooap they catched it. Wol aw wor takken up wi watchin'em Billy wor tryin to mak aght what wor gooin on o' th' other side. "Sithee, Sammy! What's all yond; wimmen reckonin to be dooin? Are they weshin'?"
He'd guessed reight, an' thear they wor in a long shed at seemed to be fit up wi ivverything they wanted, soa far as we could see at that distance, an' they wor splashin an' brayin an' stampin an' tawkin as if ther lives depended o' which could mak th' mooast ov a slop an' th' biggest din. As we went walkin on, one o' th' seets at lukt to us mooast strange, wor th' number o' men walkin abaat i' black petticoits an' brooad brimmed hats. If a chaps face is an index to his karracter, as some fowk say it is, th' fewer o' th' priests, sich as we met, an' th'better for th' country aw should think. Aw dooant want to say owt to offend onybody, but to be truthful awm foorced to say 'at aw pivver saw sich a lot o' ill favvord fowk i' mi life, an' if Madam Tooswords wants to add another chamber o' horrors to her show shoo could'nt do better nor get th' casts o' some o' their mugs. Ther's noa likelihood o' ony wolves destroyin ony o' their flocks, soa long as they've sich scarecrows for shepherds. Still they seemed a jolly lot, but just as we gate to th' Cathedral a oppen cab drives up, wi a priest in it i' full cannonicals, white lawn sleeves an' all to booit; but th' seet on it knocked th' wind aght 0' booath Billy an' me.—Aw dooant say'at what we saw wor wrang—aw say at it did'nt luk reight to us—for he wor lollin' back ith' cab, dressed as awve tell'd yo, withaat hat, an' smokin a short public haase clay pipe—It saands strange to yo awve noa daat, but its true, an' when he jumpt aght, he lifted up his petticoit an' pooled some paper aght ov his pocket, an' stuffed some into th' pipe heead, put it in his pocket, spit onto th' porch ov a temple erected for th' holiest o' purposes, an' makkin some mooation at aw did'nt understand, he walked in, aw hooap wi motives purer nor his clooas or his breeath wor likely to be. At ivvery corner at yo'd to pass, wor a woman kneelin on a cheer, an' dressed to luk as solemn as a mute at a funeral, an' to render as ugly as possible, faces an' forms'at God had made beautiful; an' they'd each on 'em a bag i' ther hand wi a few coppers in it, an' they shook'em as yo went past. Aw did drop a copper into one but Billy wod'nt, for he sed if they wanted to cadge let'em goa aght into th' street an' cadge reight. He'd hardly getten th' words aght ov his maath when he sprang back an' planted his heavy booit fair at top ov a corn at awve been nursin for th' thick end o' thirty year, an' made me exhibit a one-legged performance at wor somewhat aght o' place just then, but Billy wor too mad to tak ony noatice, an' wor havin a row wi a long lank wizzened carcase an' face at belanged to a woman at stood behind a little table, an' had a little besom in her hand, but when Billy axed her what shoo'd done that for? shoo held up a bag wi some moor coppers in an' shook it at him grinnin at him like a monkey. "What's to do?" aw ax'd for it wornt a place to kick up a disturbance in—"Shoo's slarted me all ovver mi face wi watter aght o' that besom."
"Tak noa noatice," aw sed, "it's a practice they have i' this country to sprinkle fowk wi what they call holy watter;—ha mich did ta pay her for it?"
"Pay her! does ta think aw've gooan cleean of th' side?"
"Well, if tha hasnt paid her owt tha's lost nowt an' tha sees shoo has lost her watter, an' her trouble."
Th' watter will'nt matter much for shoo'll be able to mak some moor as sooin as that's done, an' as for th' trouble,—if awd had her aghtside awd ha gein her trouble. But Sammy, is this a church or is it some sooart ov a bazaar? Sithee, thers a woman thear sellin candles, an' another little picturs an' gimcracks, aw did'nt know they allaad fowk to sell stuff in a church. "What's yond chap dooin." We went to see, an' he wor tawkin away at a gate an' as fowk went in he handed em a ticket for which they paid. We follered an' he gave us each a ticket for 50c. an' we went to see th' wonders o' th' Treasury, as it wor called. Aw quite agree wi Billy'at it wor a sell, for ther wor little to see, an' that little not near as well worth seein as ony silversmiths shop winder. We did'nt stop long thear, but we had a long stroll throw th' buildin, an' it is a wonder—its a whoal mass o' beauties—an' someha it has'nt soa mich ov a luk ov a gravestooan makkers show raam, as awr St. Paul's an' Westminster Abbey—but one thing spoilt it all to me, for it seemed to sarve noa purpose nobbut money makkin, an' aw wonderd if th' time ud ivver come when another Man should mak a scourge an' drive aght th' desecraters ov His Father's temple—It's ommost time!
When we left that grand old pile, we crossed a street an' entered a buildin whear daily can be seen th' mooast sorrowful an' sickenin seet i' Paris. Aw meean th' Morgue. When th' remembrance ov ivvery other seet has faded, that'll still be fresh. It will'nt be rubbed aght an' yo connot blot it aght, aw wish aw could. Billy gave one glance raand—"Aw'll wait for thi aghtside," he sed, an' he wod'nt ha had long to wait if it had'nt been'at aw felt it a sooart ov a duty to see all at wor to be seen. It wor a scorchin hot day aghtside, but as sooin as yo entered this bare comfortless lukkin place, yo felt a chill creep all ovver yo. Why it is'at places intended to contain objects soa repulsive should be contrived i' sich a way as to add to th' painfulness o' th' Exhibition aw could nivver tell; but soa it is. Even i' Payris, whear glass an' glitter meets yo at ivvery turn, an' ornamentation runs wild ovver ivverything, recent or ruined, they could'nt spare one solitary touch to soften an' subdue soa agonizin a show—But th' place wor full o' fowk an' 'at ther wor summat moor nor common aw could guess. Inside a big glass screen, like th' winder ov a fish shop, wor a big braan stooan slab wi watter tricklin ovver it, an' on it wor laid three bodies'at had been pickt aght o' th' river; one a man, but aw will'nt say owt abaat it—it wor too fearful for me to try to paint it—one wor a bonny little lad abaat four years old, weel nourished, an' ivvery thing it had on throo its shoes to its hat showed ha praad sombody had been on it—My heart ached as aw thowt o' that poor mother at wor somwhear lamentin' her loss, an' yet buildin up hooaps at one glance at that little face wod settle for ivver—But it wor th' third, raand which th' craad wor clusterin;—it wor that ov a young woman, beautiful i' booath face an' form—soa beautiful'at it wor hard to believe her deead. What could have caused her put an end to a life'at had hardly fully blossomed into womanhood? It could'nt be poverty, for th' jewels still on her small white hands, wod ha beep enough to ha warded off want for a long time; 'er whole dress showed signs ov wealth an' extravagance. Aw could nobbut wonder an' feel sad an' repeat
"Has she a Father?
Has she a mother?
Has she a sister?