"Aw care nowt abaat it whether its plain or net if ther's summat fit to feed a true born Englishman throo Yorksher, but tha'll ha thi wark set to find a place here'at isnt showy—in fact as far as aw can judge, it's moor show nor owt else i' this blessed country; th' Exhibition is a big show—th' baloon's another show—yond doncin demons wor a show—th' churches are turned into shows—ther deead haase is a show—ther buildins are stuck up an' bedizened wi gingerbreead an' gilt, all for show—th' men an' wimmen are all shuffle an' show—an' sithee here! awm blowed if ther isnt a church steeple stuck up for a show! Well, that's a rum en! Aw've monny a time seen a church baat steeple but this is th' furst time aw ivver saw a steeple baat church!"
"Its true what tha says, an' a grand monument it maks ith' middle o' this square. It luks weel doesnt it?"
"Luks! aw care nowt abaat ha it luks! What is it for? That's what aw want to know! What's th' use o' fillin up a place wi stuff at's o' noa use nobbut to be lukt at?"
"They'll nivver stick thee up to be lukt at, for tha am't hansom enuff, soa tha need'nt freeat!" aw says, for aw felt a bit nettled.
"Noa, aw dooant hardly think they will, an' aw should fancy they havnt been to ax thee yet, have they? Aw think my turn'll be abaat th' next after thine."
Aw did'nt answer him back, for a varry gooid reason; as long as a chap tawks sense awl tawk to him, but as sooin as he maks a fooil ov hissen aw've done.
"Nah then, will this shop suit thi?" aw sed, as aw stopt anent a resteraunt door.
"If its fit for a littleary chap like tha reckons to be, it should be gooid enuff for a chap at keeps a aleus at th' moor end."
"If tha thinks tha can get my monkey up wi mak-kin a desplay o' thi own stupid ignorance tha'rt varry much mistakken! for awl nawther be put aght o' temper wi thee nor a man twice as gooid! an' if tha'rt anxious to be shut o' mi cumpny, aw think awst be able to spare thine!" an' aw walked on leavin him to suit hissen whether he follerd me or net. Aw went to th' end o' th' street an' wor just enterin another square wi another big monument ith' middle, when aw turned raand to see if he wor comin, an' just as aw did soa aw felt as if a cannon ball had landed o' mi stummack. A potbellyed Frenchman, donned i' red britches, an' a black coit an' a white appron teed raand him baanced abaat a yard off on me an' began tawkin an' shruggin his shoolders an' poolin his face into all sooarts o' shaps—nah it ud ha been better for him if he wor anxious to mak mi acquaintance, to ha chosen another time—Aw did'nt loise mi temper, coss awd made up mi mind'at aw wod'nt, but aw just gave him one for his nob'at sent him spinnin like a castle top, an' his hat flew monny a yard, an' aw stood ready to give him another o' th' same sooart if he thowt it worth his while to fotch it, but he did'nt, an' varry sooin two or three gethered raand us an' lukt as if they meant mischief to me, but aw kept cooil—aw wor detarmined aw wod'nt be put aght o' temper; an' aw seized hold o' mi umberel an' aw just felt as if aw could fettle abaat a duzzen on em—or two duzzen for th' matter o' that,—its cappin what a chap fancies he can do if he nobbut keeps cooil.—Just then Billy coom up an' th' Frenchman went up to him an' aw suppooas bi th' way he kept pointin to me, he wor tryin to explain matters, an' although Billy could'nt tell a word he sed he seemed to understand what he meant, an' he sed to me, "come on Sammy, awve ordered steaks an' puttates for two, an' another bottle o' red ink. Tha's nowt to be feeard on, it'll be all reight."
"Feeard on! ther's nowt aw am feeard on! Aw shuddent be feeard o' thee if tha wor twice as big as tha art, aw can tell thi that mich! Tha's been tryin all tha knows this mornin to mak me loise mi temper, but tha'rt suckt, for it'll tak a better man nor thee!"