Th' place had getten soa full o' fowk wol we thowfc it wor time to be movin', an' nivver had aw seen sich a change as had takken place wol we'd been in. We gate into a ricketty cab an' telled him to drive to Champs Elysees, net'at we'd owt particular to goa for but aw knew if we wor set daan thear'at aw should be able to find mi way hooam an' have a chonce to see ha one pairt o' th? city spent Sundy. Th' streets wor fairly filled wi' fowk, the cawseys wor ommost blocked an' moor cabs an' carriages wor ith' streets nor we'd ivver seen. It wor hardly to be wondered at on sich a afternoon'at fowk should be tempted aght for a ride or walk; an' it made up a seet moor gay nor owt we'd witnessed befoor. Th' Cafes an' shops wor oppen, (net all th' shops but mooast on'em,) an' it seemed to bi far th' busiest day ith' wick. Ther wor noa church bells ringin' nah, th' fowk had getten throo ther religious nomony for th' day, an' them'at hadn't had time to: goa back hooam an' leeave ther prayer-books had'em stickin' aght o' ther pockets as they sat ith' front o' th' drinkin' shops playin' cards an' laffin' an' smok'in' Awm net able to argefy as to whether it's reight or wrang, but it isn't my noation o' "Remember the Sabbath day to keep it Holy."
Old England has a lot to answer for i' that respect, maybe a deeal moor nor we're apt to admit, still Payris licks all places aw ivver did see for th' amaant o' religion it can booast an' for th' want o' Christianity'at characterizes it.
We'd had noa dinner soa we went into a place an' ordered Cafe au lait, bifteck, Champignons, pain an' beurre, an' if yo cannot tell what that is awd advise yo to get to know befoor yo goa, for yol find it's nooan a bad pooltice for a empty stummack. Aw noaticed'at other fowk sittin' raand rayther stared when th' chap browt it, but they stared far moor when he tuk th' empty plates away in abaat ten minutes at after. When we'd squared up we went aghtside agean, an' pickin' aght a little table'at wor as far removed as onny throo th' craad'at wor sittin' ith' front, an' one'at wor grandly shaded wi' a young sycamore tree, we ordered brandy an' watter an' cigars, an' sat daan intendin to enjoy th' richness an' th' beauties ov an evenin' sich as it mud be a long time befoor we should have th' chonce ov enjoyin' agean. Sittin' under a tree has it's advantages, but ther's allusa drawback to all pleasures i' this life. Th' French fowk as a nation are varry perlite, but they dooant seem to have eddi-cated th' burds up to th' same pitch, an' aw suppooas burds will be burds whether they're i' Payris or i' Pudsey; at onyrate, when aw pickt up mi brandy an' watter aw saw ther'd been an addition to it sin th' waiter put it daan,'at caused me to teem it daan th' gutter asteead o' daan mi throit. Billy tuk warnin' bi my mishap an' he made sewer o' his. It wor noa serious loss for aw railly didn't want it, but yo cannot sit at sich places withaat havin' to spend summat. Th' sun wor settin' an' th' sky lukt all aflame for a while, an' then it faded away an' a soft purplish Ieet crept ovver th' heavens, an' th' day went to sleep an' neet drew th' curtain ov his bed. Th' lamps wor sooin aleet but their glories wor sooin at an end, for th' mooin coom smilin' up, an' flingin' her silvery rays, turned ivverything into fairyland. "We nivver see moonleet as breet as this at hooam, Billy."
"Noa, aw wor just thinkin' it ud be grand to have a bit o' poachin' ov a neet like this; awl bet ther's two-o-three chaps sittin' i' yond haase o' mine to neet'at ud give a wick's wage for a mooin like that i' November."
"Billy!" aw sed, disgusted, "aw believe tha's noa poetry i' thi soul!"
"Varry likely net, but aw've getten a pain i' mi back wi' caarin' o' this peggifoggin' stooil, th' top on it's nobbut abaat big enuff to mak a sealin' wax stamp on."
We made a move towards hooam then, but we didn't hurry for it wor soa cooil an' pleasant, an' for fear o' landin too sooin we tuk a bit ov a raand abaat way'at we felt sewer ud land us at th' same spot. It's just as fooilish a thing for a chap to tak a raand abaat rooad to a place i' Payris if he doesn't know it, as it is for a stranger to try to tak a short cut i' Lundun, for he's sewer to get wrang. Billy an' me kept walkin' on an' tawkin' abaat what arrangements we'd to mak abaat gettin' hooam, an' aw heeard a clock strike eleven.
"It's a gooid job aw browt this kay wi' mi," aw sed, "for we'st be lockt aght. This rooad's takken us farther nor awd ony idea on, an' awm blest if aw can tell whear we are."
"It's just like thi! an' nah when tha's trailed me abaat wol mi feet's soa sooar aw can hardly bide to put'em daan aw expect tha'll find aght'at we're two or three mile off hooam."
"We cannot be far away nah," aw sed, tho awm blessed if aw knew ony better nor a fooil whear we wor or whear we wor gooin; "an' if th' warst comes to th' warst tha knows Billy we can do as we've done befoor—get a cab."