"Sammywell, if tha tawks as tha does aw shall begin to think'at tha's forgettin ha to spaik trewth. Aw dunnot know what awve done, nor what tha'rt short on at hooam, nor what it is tha meets wi when tha'rt away, but for this last two-o'-three year if tha's stopt at hooam for a day or two tha's been war nor a worm on a whut backstun an' tha nivver seems happy unless tha'rt galivantin abaat; but its noa use me wastin' mi' wind tawkin' to thi, for tha's made up thi mind to goa thi own gate an' it'll be varry weel if it doesnt land thi somewhear at last whear tha'll find a deal moor brimstun nor tha will traitle, mark that. If aw could see ony gooid tha gate aght on it, it mud be different, but ther's noa improvement in thi. Tha wor nivver nowt to luk at an' varry little to feel at, an' tha seems to pride thisen i' thi awkardness. Tha seems to forget at tha'rt a gron-father; but tha can goa awther to Payris or to Payredise for owt aw care, but aw believe tha'll just come back th' same as tha went, or else war."
"Well, but if aw goa to Payris awst happen come back french-polished an' then tha'll hardly know me.
"Aw pity them at'll have th' french-polishin o' thee, for they'll ha ther wark set! All th' bees wax an' turpitine ith' country ud be wasted o' thee. But awl tell thi what aw think, Sammywell, an' aw've been considerin it for th' last forty year—"
"Spaik aght lass, an' let's know th' warst."
"Ther's nowt nawther nice nor new in it, aw weant say whether tha wor born soa or tha's made thisen soa, but th' conclusion awve come to is'at tha'rt a fooil."
"Well, tha mud be farther off th' mark nor that, an' tha's tell'd me th' same tale soa oft wol tha's ommost made me believe it misenj; but what says ta, will ta goa wi me?"
"Sammywell! aw've been wed to thi all theas years an' aw should ha thowt, simpleton as tha art, at tha'd ha geen me credit for moor sense. What have aw to goa to Payris for? Who's to wesh theas clooas aw should like to know if aw goa scaarin a country same as thee? Ther's awr Hepsaba wi yond youngest child hardly a twelvemonth old, an' awm expectin to be sent for ivvery day an' neet, but tha wod'nt care if shoo'd to goa abaat wi a child i' awther arm an' a couple teed to her back, tha'd goa to Payris an' leeav em to muck amang it; but awm different to thee, aw want to be whear aw can be o' some use to them at belangs to me an net ramlin' abaat makkin misen a laffinstock for fowk! But awst be suited when thart gooan for awst ha one less to luk after, an' if tha stops wol aw send for thi back tha'll net show thi face i' this fold agean yet a bit!"
Aw set varry quiet an' sed nowt for aw knew if aw spaik aw should mak' it war, an' after shoo'd scaled fire an' clattered th' pooaker agean th' ribs, banged th' ovven door to, upset th' tangs, punced th' fender aght ov its place an' dragged it back agean, shoo turned raand an' sed as quiet as could be, "Then what wi ta want to tak' wi thi, coss tha'd better let's be knowin soas aw can get it ready an' net drive ivverything to th' last minit?"
"Varry few things'll suit me, for we're nobbut gooin for a day or two."
"We! who does ta mean bi a 'we'?"