What are the "proper limitations," every person must decide for himself in view of the facts which have been presented. If he find that the animal in his nature is too strong to allow him to comply with what seems to be the requirements of natural law, let him approximate as nearly to the truth as possible. "Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind," and act accordingly, not forgetting that this is a matter with serious moral bearings, and, hence, one in which conscience should be on the alert. It is of no use to reject truth because it is unpalatable. There can be nothing worse for a man than to "know the truth and do it not."
It is but fair to say that there is a wide diversity of opinion among medical men on this subject. A very few hold that the sexual act should never be indulged except for the purpose of reproduction, and then only at periods when reproduction will be possible. Others, while equally opposed to the excesses, the effects of which have been described, limit indulgence to the number of months in the year.
Read, reflect, weigh well the matter, then fix upon a plan of action, and, if it be in accordance with the dictates of better judgment, do not swerve from it.
If the suggestion made near the outset of these remarks, in comparing the reproductive function in man and animals—viz., that the seasons of sexual approach should be governed by the inclination of the female—were conscientiously followed, it would undoubtedly do away with at least three-fourths of the excesses which have been under consideration. Before rejecting the hint so plainly offered by nature, let every man consider for a moment whether he has any other than purely selfish arguments to produce against it.
[Early Moderation.]—The time of all others when moderation is most imperatively demanded, yet least likely to be practiced, is at the beginning of matrimonial life. Many a woman dates the beginning of a life of suffering from the first night after marriage; and the mental suffering from the disgusting and even horrible recollections of that night, the events of which were scarred upon her mind as well as upon her body, have made her equally as wretched mentally as bodily.
A learned French writer, in referring to this subject, says, "The husband who begins with his wife by a rape is a lost man. He will never be loved."
We quote the following very sensible words from Dr. Napheys:—
"It sometimes happens that marriage is consummated with difficulty. To overcome this, care, management, and forbearance should always be employed, and anything like precipitation and violence avoided."
Cases have come under our care of young wives who have required months of careful treatment to repair the damage inflicted on their wedding night. A medical writer has reported a case in which he was called upon to testify in a suit for divorce, which is an illustration of so gross a degree of sensuality that the perpetrator certainly deserved most severe punishment. The victim, a beautiful and accomplished young lady, to please her parents, was married to a man much older than herself, riches being the chief attraction. She at once began to pine, and in a very few months was a complete wreck. Emaciated, spiritless, haggard, she was scarcely a shadow of her former self. The physician who was called in, upon making a local examination, found those delicate organs in a state of most terrible laceration and inflammation. The bladder, rectum, and other adjacent organs, were highly inflamed, and sensitive in the highest degree. Upon inquiring respecting the cause, he found that from the initial night she had been subjected to the most excessive demands by her husband, "day and night." The tortures she had undergone had been terrific; and her mind trembled upon the verge of insanity. She entered suit for divorce on the charge of cruelty, but was defeated, the judge ruling that the law has no jurisdiction in matters of that sort.