She too thought it was the unwelcome philosopher come again; she gave a start and a cry of delight when she saw it was Cæcilius. “My father,” she said, “I want to be a Christian, if I may; He came to [pg 345]save the lost sheep. I have learnt such things from this book—let me give it you while I can. I am not long for this world. Give me Him who spoke so kindly to that woman. Take from me my load of sin, and then I will gladly go.” She knelt at his feet, and gave the roll of parchment into his hand.
“Rise and sit,” he answered. “Let us think calmly over the matter.”
“I am ready,” she insisted. “Deny me not my wish, when time is so urgent—if I may have it.”
“Sit down calmly,” he said again; “I am not refusing you, but I wish to know about you.” He could hardly keep from tears, of pain, or of joy, or of both, when he saw the great change which trial had wrought in her. What touched him most was the utter disappearance of that majesty of mien, which once was hers, a gift, so beautiful, so unsuitable to fallen man. There was instead of it a frank humility, a simplicity without concealment, an unresisting meekness, which seemed as if it would enable her, if trampled on, to smile and to kiss the feet that insulted her. She had lost every vestige of what the world worships under the titles of proper pride and self-respect. Callista was now living, not in the thought of herself, but of Another.
“God has been very good to you,” he continued; “but in the volume you have returned to me He bids us ‘reckon the charges.’ Can you drink of His chalice? Recollect what is before you.”
She still continued kneeling, with a touching earn[pg 346]estness of face and demeanour, and with her hands crossed upon her breast.
“I have reckoned,” she replied; “heaven and hell: I prefer heaven.”
“You are on earth,” said Cæcilius; “not in heaven or hell. You must bear the pangs of earth before you drink the blessedness of heaven.”
“He has given me the firm purpose,” she said, “to gain heaven, to escape hell; and He will give me too the power.”
“Ah, Callista!” he answered, in a voice broken with distress, “you know not what you will have to bear, if you join yourself to Him.”