And while the king was perched upon the branches so high,
The Roundhead rebels under him they all passed by."
[74] When Ware the architect was told of this piece of satire, he said the artist must be a very foolish fellow; for if he had painted the coachman as a shorter man, or made him stoop, he might have driven through the gateway with his head upon his shoulders.
[75] John Shoreditch, in the reign of Edward III., sued the county of Middlesex (for which he was returned to Parliament) to recover his wages. In some letters from the dead to the living, published about the year 1761, one signed with his name concludes as follows:
"If I was now upon earth—either nobleman or commoner—I should choose peace and quiet, both public and private: I should be happy in preserving religion and morality among my countrymen, instead of suborning them to take the oath falsely about bribery and corruption; debauching their minds, by giving them money that is of no use to their families, and keeping them in continual drunkenness, that renders them incapable of serving themselves or their country.
"To this I attribute the loss of that which was common in my time, but in yours is found only in romances and novels—I mean simplicity of manners among the country people. Rustic innocence was then as common among the men as among the women; but there is scarce any mode of vice or folly which is not at this period equally known and practised by both sexes; and in the most obscure villages to as great a degree as in the most polished cities. Let us consider that a million of money was spent in treats and bribery at the last general election; and if we take into the calculation the contested elections, for some of which there were three or four candidates, and the money that is spent by their friends on these occasions, we shall not find the computation too high. What place, then, will not the influence of this immense sum extend to? Not even the smallest hamlet can escape; and you may as well look for purity of manners, innocence and simplicity, among the Capuans of old, or in your Covent Garden, as in any place that an election guinea has found its way to.—I am, etc."
[76] I am tasteless enough to prefer this to Garrick between Tragedy and Comedy. From Hogarth the hint was indisputably taken; but exquisite as is the face of Thalia, the countenance of the actor, from the contention of two passions, has assumed a kind of idiotic stare, of which our honest farmer has not an iota. In the true spirit of Falstaff, he says, or seems to say, "D'ye think I do not know ye? Ha! ha! ha! he! he! he!!"
[77] Swift boasted that he made it a rule never to give his voice for the appointment of any man to any situation for which that man was not better qualified than his opponent. Being once applied to for his interest in the recommendation of a curate, because he was a very good sort of man, though a very vile preacher, he said he would willingly, if in his power, recommend him to be a bishop, because that was a business in which preaching was not wanted, but in a curate it was wanted every week. Being once asked by one of his parishioners which of two candidates he would advise him to vote for as a Parliament man, in a warmly contested Irish election, Swift desired he would first consider what was the business of a Parliament man; and secondly, which of the parties was best qualified for that business; and then he would want no advice. If your vote, added he, could make a lord or a duke, as they are people who need not do any business at all, you might toss up a halfpenny, and vote for the man who came up heads.
[78] By a letter we see out of his pocket, this appears to be Doctor Shebbeare, who was put on the pillory, and confined in prison; not for writing in the cause of his country, but for printing and publishing the sixth letter to the people of England, in which he most impudently and audaciously abuses George the First and the present royal family. The Doctor frequently said in a public coffeehouse, that he would have a pillory or a pension. In each of these points he was gratified; Lord Mansfield complimented him with the first, and Lord Bute rewarded him with the second. The honour he enjoyed long ago, the emolument he died in the receipt of a very few years since.
[79] The late Doctor Barrowby persuaded a dying man, that being much better he might venture with him in his chariot to the hustings in Covent Garden, to poll for Sir George Vandeput. The unhappy voter took his physician's advice, and in less than an hour after his return—expired.