“It is impossible,” said Munchausen, gloomily. “The whole point of the story depends upon its having been Jonah’s whale. Under the circumstances, the only thing I can do is to sit down. I regret the narrowness of mind exhibited by my friend Jonah, but I must respect the decision of the court.”
“I must take exception to the Baron’s allusion to my narrowness of mind,” said Jonah, with some show of heat. “I am simply defending my rights, and I intend to continue to do so if the whole world unites in considering my mind a mere slot scarcely wide enough for the insertion of a nickel. That whale was my discovery, and the personal discomfort I endured in perfecting my experience was such that I resolved to rest my reputation upon his broad proportions only—to sink or swim with him—and I cannot at this late day permit another to crowd me out of his exclusive use.”
Jonah sat down and fanned himself, and the Baron, with a look of disgust on his face, left the room.
“Up to his old tricks,” he growled as he went. “He queers everything he goes into. If I’d known he was a member of this club I’d never have joined.”
“We do not appear to be progressing very rapidly,” said Doctor Johnson, rising. “So far we have made two efforts to have stories told, and have met with disaster each time. I don’t know but what you are to be congratulated, however, on your escape. Very few of you, I observe, have as yet fallen asleep. The next number on the programme, I see, is Boswell, who was to have entertained you with a few reminiscences; I say was to have done so, because he is not to do so.”
“I’m ready,” said Boswell, rising.
“No doubt,” retorted Johnson, severely, “but I am not. You are a man with one subject—myself. I admit it’s a good subject, but you are not the man to treat of it—here. You may suffice for mortals, but here it is different. I can speak for myself. You can go out and sit on the banks of the Vitriol Reservoir and lecture to the imps if you want to, but when it comes to reminiscences of me I’m on deck myself, and I flatter myself I remember what I said and did more accurately than you do. Therefore, gentlemen, instead of listening to Boswell at this point, you will kindly excuse him and listen to me. Ahem! When I was a boy—”
“Excuse me,” said Solomon, rising; “about how long is this—ah—this entertaining discourse of yours to continue?”
“Until I get through,” returned Johnson, wrathfully.
“Are you aware, sir, that I am on the programme?” asked Solomon.