I’ve bacilli for ten volumes for a dollar, in a bag—

Not a single germ among ’em that’s been ever known to drag.

Not a single germ among ’em, if you see they’re planted right,

But will grow into a novel that they’ll say is out of sight.

I have motifs by the thousand, motifs sad and motifs gay.

You can buy ’em by the dozen, or I’ll serve ’em every day:

I will serve ’em in the morning, as the milkman serves his wares;

I will serve ’em by the postman, or I’ll leave ’em on your stairs.

When you get down to your table with your head a vacuum,

You can say unto your helpmeet, “Has that quart of ideas come