| | PAGE |
| "I shall have to borrow some of your manly courage
to carry me through" | Frontispiece |
| "It was indeed a pretty sight to me!" | [21] |
| "Yes, and you are fifty years behind us in every other
respect!" | [28] |
| I knew that I had met a "Southern Gentleman" | [31] |
| "The consciously superior person cannot last long on
the lecture platform" | [43] |
| "If there's anything you want to know about Darwin's
Origin of Species, you ask me!" | [60] |
| "I cannot say that his first remark was wholly cordial" | [70] |
| "I'm an Ohio man, and I'll cash the check for you on
your looks" | [79] |
| In the last stages of poverty | [85] |
| "Suffering Centipedes!" he cried. "That man must
have been brought up on the bottle!" | [93] |
| "The lecturer must deliver the goods!" | [100] |
| "They may 'go to sleep in his face'" | [103] |
| "I have been after 'em, suh; but it ain't no use" | [122] |
| "These men on the engines are great characters" | [130] |
| "Pile it on so thick that the lecturer has to struggle
hard to make good" | [136] |
| "The last I saw of my kindly host" | [145] |
| "When he got through I could have qualified for a
college degree on the subject of straw hats" | [162] |
| "She ast me was you so very comical," said he | [171] |
| "If yo're dealin' in brains, hit ain't likely yo' got
enough to gib any away" | [185] |
| "A Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Locomotives
would have had them indicted then and there" | [191] |
| "If it were possible to sweep a room clean with a
welcoming wave of the hand—" | [199] |
| "Cannot sleep comfortably between the sheets of
William James's pragmatic philosophy, dry as
they are" | [202] |
| "If he had shifted his chewing gum to the other side,
we should have plunged into the river" | [227] |
| "Laughter where tears would have been more appropriate" | [239] |
| "I found the building wholly dark" | [247] |
| "But what was the point of this little joke last night? | [264] |
| "My grinning countenance stared back at me unflinchingly" | [276] |
| "I was the sudden recipient of a blow on top of my
head" | [283] |
| "A craving to settle lingering doubts as to my right
to be there" | [298] |