The gondolier made room for him and the Unwiseman alighted.
"Where have you been?" asked Mollie, throwing her arms about his neck.
"Up the canal a little way," he answered unconcernedly. "I wanted to mail a letter to the Doggie in the Lion's Mouth."
"What about?" asked Mollie.
"Watertown, otherwise Venice," said the Unwiseman. "I had some suggestions for its improvement and I didn't want to go way without making them. There's a copy of my letter if you want to see it," he added, handing Mollie a piece of paper upon which he had written as follows:
29 Grand Canal St., Venice, It.
Ancient & Honorable Bow-wows:
I have enjoyed my visit to your beautiful but wet old town very much and would respectfully advise you that there are several things you can do to keep it unspiled. These are as follows to wit viz:
I. Bale it out once in a while and see that the barrel hoops in your Grand Canal are sifted out of it. They're a mighty poor stubstishoot for shad.
II. Get a few trained whales in commission so that when a feller wants to go driving he won't have to go paddling.
III. Stock your streets with trout, or flounders, or perch or even sardines in order that us Americans who feel like fishing won't have to be satisfied with a poor quality of straw hat.
IV. During the fishing season compel artists returning from their work to wear beaver hats or something else that a fish-hook baited with macaroni won't catch into thus making a lot of trouble.
V. Get together on your language. I speak the very best variety of banana-stand Italian and twenty-three out of twenty-four people to which I have made remarks in it have not been able to grasp my meaning.
VI. Pigeons are very nice to have but they grow monotonous. Would suggest a half dozen first class American hens as an ornament to your piazza.
VII. Stop calling yourself Doggies. It makes people laugh.
With kind regards to the various Mrs. Ds, believe me to be with mucho da respecto,
Yoursa da trool,
Da Unadawisamann.
P.S. If you ever go sailing abroad in your old town point her nose towards my country. We'll all be glad to see you over there and can supply you with all the water you need.
Y da T,
Mister Me.