The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces

by John Kendrick Bangs

Mrs. Perkins. Here it is. What did I hear about Pond’s Extract? Didn’t somebody call for it?

Yardsley. No—oh no—not a bit of it! What you heard was shawl-strap—sounds like extract—very much like it. In fact—

Bradley. But you did say you wanted—

Yardsley (aside to Bradley). Shut up! Thaddeus banged his ankle, but he’ll get over it in a minute. She’d only worry. The best bicyclers in the world are all the time falling off, taking headers, and banging their ankles.

Bradley. Poor Emma!

Enter Barlow.

Barlow. Where the deuce is that Ex—

Yardsley (grasping him by the arm and pushing him out). Here it is; this is the ex-strap, just what we wanted. (Aside to Bradley.) Go down to the drug-store and get a bottle of Pond’s, will you? [Exit.

Mrs. Perkins (walking to window). She can’t be long in coming now.

Bradley. I guess I’ll go out to the corner again. (Aside.) Best bicyclers always smashing ankles, falling off, taking headers! If I ever get hold of Emma again, I’ll see whether she’ll ride that—[Rushes out.