Yardsley. Oh, very. You see, we’ll put it in the centre of the room. Just move that table out into the hall, Thaddeus. (Enter Barlow with tub.) Ah! now I’ll show you. (Perkins removes table.) You see, we put the tub here in the middle of the floor, then we surround it with potted plants. That conceals the tub, and there’s your fountain.
Perkins. But the water—how do you get that?
Bradley. We buy it in bottles, of course, and hire a boy to come in and pour it out every two minutes. How dull you are, Perkins! I’m surprised at you.
Perkins. I’m not over-bright, I must confess, when it comes to building fountains in parlors, with no basis but an English bath-tub to work on.
Yardsley. Did you ever hear of such a thing as a length of hose with a nozzle on one end and a Croton-water pipe at the other, Thaddeus Perkins?
Mrs. Perkins. But where is the Croton-water pipe?
Mrs. Bradley. In the butler’s pantry. The hose can be carried through the dining-room, across the hall into this room, and it will be dreadfully effective; and so safe, too, in case the curtain catches fire.
Mrs. Perkins. Oh, Emma! You don’t think—
Perkins. Cheerful prospect. But I say, Yardsley, you have arranged for the water supply; how about its exit? How does the water get out of the tub?
Yardsley. It doesn’t, unless you want to bore a hole in the floor, and let it flow into the billiard-room below. We’ve just got to hustle that scene along, so that the climax will be reached before the tub overflows.