“And there’s your money,” said the Idiot, tossing the quarter across the table. “If you want to buy this message back at any time within the next sixty days, Doctor, I’ll give you the refusal of it without extra charge.”
And he folded the paper up and put it away in his pocketbook.
“Do the banks really ask for so much security when they make a loan?” asked the Poet.
“Hear him, will you!” cried the Idiot. “There’s your lucky man. He’s never had to face a bank president in order to avoid the cold glances of the grocer. No cashier ever asked him how many times he had been sentenced to states-prison before he’d discount his note. Do they ask security? Security isn’t the name for it. They demand a blockade, establish a quarantine. They require the would-be debtor to build up a wall as high as Chimborazo and as invulnerable as Gibraltar between them and the loss before they will part with a dime. Why, they wouldn’t discount a note to his own order for Andrew Carnegie for seventeen cents without his indorsement. Do they ask security!”
“Well, I didn’t know,” said the Poet. “I never had anything to do with banks except as a small depositor in the savings-bank.”
“Fortunate man,” said the Idiot. “I wish I could say as much. I borrowed five hundred dollars once from a bank, and what the deuce do you suppose they did?”
“I don’t know,” said the Poet. “What?”
“They made me pay it back,” said the Idiot, mournfully, “although I needed it just as much when it was due as when I borrowed it. The cashier was a friend of mine, too. But I got even with ’em. I refused to borrow another cent from their darned old institution. They lost my custom then and there. If it hadn’t been for that inconsiderate act I should probably have gone on borrowing from them for years, and instead of owing them nothing to-day, as I do, I should have been their debtor to the tune of two or three thousand dollars.”
“Don’t you take any stock in what the Idiot tells you in that matter, Mr. Poet,” said Mr. Brief. “The national banks are perfectly justified in protecting themselves as they do. If they didn’t demand collateral security they’d be put out of business in fifteen minutes by people like the Idiot, who consider it a hardship to have to pay up.”
“As the lady said when she was asked the name of her favorite author, ‘Pshaw!’” retorted the Idiot. “Likewise fudge—a whole panful of fudges! I don’t object to paying my debts; fact is, I know of no greater pleasure. What I do object to is the kind of collateral the banks demand. They always want something a man hasn’t got and, in most cases, hasn’t any chance of getting. If I had a thousand-dollar bond I wouldn’t need to borrow five hundred dollars, yet when I go to the bank and ask for the five hundred the thousand-dollar bond is what they ask for.”