“Isn’t he a daisy?” whispered Demosthenes to Diogenes as they climbed the stairs.
“He is more than that; he’s a blooming orchid,” said Diogenes, with intense enthusiasm. “I think I’ll get my X-ray lantern and see if he’s honest.”
IX
CAPTAIN KIDD MEETS WITH AN OBSTACLE
“Excuse me, your Majesty,” remarked Helen of Troy as Cleopatra accorded permission to Captain Kidd to speak, “I have not been introduced to this gentleman nor has he been presented to me, and I really cannot consent to any proceeding so irregular as this. I do not speak to gentlemen I have not met, nor do I permit them to address me.”
“Hear, hear!” cried Xanthippe. “I quite agree with the principle of my young friend from Troy. It may be that when we claimed for ourselves all the rights of men that the right to speak and be spoken to by other men without an introduction will included in the list, but I for one have no desire to avail myself of the privilege, especially when it’s a horrid-looking man like this.”
Kidd bowed politely, and smiled so terribly that several of the ladies fainted.
“I will withdraw,” he said, turning to Cleopatra; and it must be said that his suggestion was prompted by his heartfelt wish, for now that he found himself thus conspicuously brought before so many women, with falsehood on his lips, his courage began to ooze.
“Not yet, please,” answered the chairlady. “I imagine we can get about this difficulty without much trouble.”
“I think it a perfectly proper objection too,” observed Delilah, rising. “If we ever needed etiquette we need it now. But I have a plan which will obviate any further difficulty. If there is no one among us who is sufficiently well acquainted with the gentleman to present him formally to us, I will for the time being take upon myself the office of ship’s barber and cut his hair. I understand that it is quite the proper thing for barbers to talk, while cutting their hair, to persons to whom they have not been introduced. And, besides, he really needs a hair-cut badly. Thus I shall establish an acquaintance with the captain, after which I can with propriety introduce him to the rest of you.”
“Perhaps the gentleman himself might object to that,” put in Queen Elizabeth. “If I remember rightly, your last customer was very much dissatisfied with the trim you gave him.”