POS. I’ve done it! I’ve been ringing at the bell long enough, so I’ve been obliged to effect an entrance by the window; (putting one leg over the window sill) and let me observe to the inexperienced in these matters, that the fact of threading one’s way up a densely wooded apple tree on a pitch dark night is a gymnastic feat more easily imagined than accomplished. (gets in at window—he has a carpet bag) However, as I said before, I’ve done it, and what’s more I live to tell it, though I may be allowed to remark that, considering my cousin, Mrs. Somerton, has been expecting me—me, her affianced husband—for the last three nights, I think she might have allowed one of her domestics to sit up for me: however, I’m not going to quarrel with her, no—no—I cannot forget that she’s my cousin, and the only child of my honoured and lamented uncle—I mean aunt—no, uncle—and now that the law suit has been decided in her favour, and that she steps into possession of fifteen thousand pounds, her late husband’s fortune, I feel that to upbraid her at such a moment would be unmanly. There’s a spark of fire left in the grate I declare—that’s lucky! I’ll light a candle if I can find one. (feeling about) Here’s one—no, it’s a scent bottle—now I’ve got it—(takes candle, and goes towards fireplace)—and now for a piece of paper. (takes a paper out of his pocket, and about to tear it) Stop—it won’t do to tear this, this is yesterday’s Times, in which I find that my friend Captain Ratcliffe has been appointed to the situation of Chief Superintendent of the Rural Police, of the Western Division of the County of Kent, and as I know he’s been here at Tunbridge Wells for the last week, I’ve determined to find him out, and be the first to congratulate him—this’ll do! (taking another piece of paper, and lighting the candle with it) There—and now—— (seeing a letter on the table, and taking it up) What’s this? “Colonel Boldwig requests the honour—Mrs. Somerton’s company—Thursday evening—quadrilles, &c. &c.” Then she’s not at home; then, egad, I’ll wait for her here—but not in this costume—no, I’ll just change my coat, et cetera: and, probably, my et cetera requires changing more than my coat, because naturally in ascending a tree one occasionally requires to sit down, consequently, it naturally follows that one’s et cetera, upon which one does sit down—of course, it stands to reason—so here goes. (taking up the candle, carpet bag, and umbrella, and going towards door, R. C., and enters. Scene again dark. At this moment RATCLIFFE opens door at R., enters, moves across on tiptoe, and locks the door at R. C.)
RAT. Come, I’ve got you safe under lock and key, my worthy friend, whoever you are, and now not another moment must be lost. (advances towards the writing desk quickly, L. table)
MRS. S. (without) Don’t be alarmed, David, I forgot to say I had taken the latch key with me.
RAT. Mrs. Somerton’s voice, and no means of escape! Then impudence befriend me! (hurries into room, R.)
Enter MRS. SOMERTON and PEGGY at door, L. U. E.
PEGGY. (who carries a small lantern in her hand, which she places on table) Dear, dear, how my poor old bones do ache.
MRS. S. (throws off her cloak and hood, and appears in a handsome ball costume) Now go to bed at once, my good Peggy, I don’t require you any more.
PEGGY. Yes you do, so sit down there—(making MRS. SOMERTON sit down on a chair)—and now, while I’m taking all these gimcracks and finery out of your hair, you shall tell me all about the grand doings at the ball. I warrant me, what the colonel’s footmen said of you was quite true.
MRS. S. And pray what did the colonel’s footmen say?
PEGGY. They said—— Drat the pin! They said you were the most beautiful lady in the room—that you had handsomer partners than any lady in the room.