Betsy Baker! or, Too Attentive by Half; A Farce, in One Act

by John Maddison Morton

MRS. M. Because he sees we are so much alone.

MOUS. But we never are alone. Crummy won’t let us be alone.

MRS. M. Well, isn’t it natural that he should drop in upon us? Isn’t he your partner in the business? Isn’t he one of the firm, Mouser and Crummy, Attorneys-at-law?

MOUS. Yes, and why? Because you chose to fancy that my practice was more than I could get through, and that I required a partner.

MRS. M. I confess I did, and you took him in.

MOUS. I beg your pardon—he took me in; and pretty considerably too, for he pockets half the profits, and leaves me all the work.

MRS. M. How can you say so? Isn’t he gone out on business now—and all the way to Pentonville, too?

MOUS. All the way from Islington to Pentonville!

MRS. M. Then why didn’t you go yourself? (rises)

MOUS. And leave you, my ’Stasia? (tenderly) You that I adore with a degree of intensity closely bordering on insanity! Besides, it isn’t because a Mrs. Jones from Northamptonshire—a Jones I don’t know—a Jones I never saw—a Jones I never even heard of, chooses to send for me, that therefore I must go to that Jones, Jones can’t expect it!