MARTHA, entering at L.
MARTHA. A gentleman, ma’am, sent in his card (giving card to MRS. TARLETAN).
MRS. T. (reading). “Mr. Christopher Chirper.” Show the gentleman in. (MARTHA goes to C., shows in CHIRPER, and then exits.)
Enter CHIRPER, in a similar costume to JOGTROT.
JOGTROT (meeting CHIRPER, and handing him forward and presenting him). Allow me, Mrs. Tarletan—Mr. Christopher Chirper. Miss Jessie—Mr. Christopher Chirper. (To JACK.) Sir, Mr. Christopher Chirper. (CHIRPER bows very solemnly to each.)
JACK (aside). A cheerful-looking youth, very! one part waiter, three parts undertaker!
MRS. T. (to CHIRPER). The flattering terms in which Dr. Jogtrot has spoken of you more than suffice to insure you a hearty welcome!
CHIRP. (bowing). I trust, madam, I may merit the favorable opinion of my distinguished friend! Permit me to say, I am not one of those giddy, thoughtless butterflies who consume their mental and moral faculties in mundane futilities.
JACK (after a long stare at CHIRPER—then aside). He’s not a man, he’s a tract. (Aside to JESSIE, as he goes towards table.) Lively boy, isn’t he, Jessie? (Sits and turns over leaves of an album.)
CHIRP. My mode of life is simplicity itself. I rise at seven—