DOCTOR. Then, my good friend, why not at once put an end to these personal and conjugal troubles of yours?
MAJOR. How?
DOCTOR. Simply thus. Appoint one of the two contending parties—no matter which—to the sole control of your domestic affairs; support her authority through thick and thin, give her credit for always being right, even when she’s wrong, and the thing’s done!
MAJOR. A very good plan, I dare say, but, unluckily, it’s impracticable.
DOCTOR. Why?
MAJOR. Because it would require a considerable amount of pluck to carry it out, and I hain’t got an atom.
DOCTOR. Nonsense! You’ve only to show a proper spirit.
MAJOR. How can I do that when I hain’t any spirit at all?
DOCTOR. Pshaw! Recollect, Nero was a perfect lamb at starting, and yet he fiddled when Rome was burning.