LADY F. And you promise to spare me the infliction of those melancholy exhibitions which you call jokes?
SIR F. I’ll be as dull as an undertaker! Suppose you put a few stitches into that smoking-cap of mine, which has been your sole occupation in needle-work for the last two years and a half!
LADY F. Be it so! It’s in my room—I’ll fetch it! (Aside as she goes up stage.) So—so—he’s evidently got some “little game” on hand—which it will be my business to find out! (Turning to SIR F.) Ta! ta!
[Goes out at door L. H.
SIR F. Poor, unsuspecting innocent, it’s too bad to take advantage of her simplicity! Ah! here comes old Cosey for his forty winks—better and better—but he mustn’t see me! (Hides behind window-curtain.)
Enter COLONEL at R.; looks round.
COL. Nobody here! got it all to myself! That’s just what I like! I was afraid of meeting Fritterly! He’s a pleasant fellow enough in his way, but I prefer being out of his way! To be within the sound of his voice is like living over a printing-office—one continual clatter! Now, then, for a little solitary rumination!—there’s nothing equals it. Look at a cow—how she enjoys it! and isn’t she the most peaceful of all animals? Who ever heard of a cow in a passion? See the touching resignation with which she allows herself to be milked! I wish Arthur had more of that docile animal in his composition! he wouldn’t talk of doing something desperate! Now, then, for a delicious nap! (Ties his handkerchief over his head and lies down on couch, and no longer in sight of audience.)
SIR F. (peeping from behind curtain). Thank you, colonel, for your flattering opinion of me; but I’ll be even with you! I wonder if he’s asleep? (advancing on tiptoe to couch). Yes, sound as a top! Now, then, to call in Arthur! Stop a bit! let me first perform the part of the benevolent robin in the “Babes in the Wood,” and cover this “Sleeping Beauty” up! (Carefully spreading several antimacassars over COSEY.) There! now for Arthur! (Runs to window and waves his hand.) All right; he sees me!
Enter VALLANCE at C.
ARTH. Well, you still stick to your plan?