SKRUFF (aside). I shall not interrogate this domestic any further. (Aloud.) Will you inform Mr. Gritty, with my compliments, that I have called to see him?
SALLY. Certainly, sir—but—
SKRUFF (impressively). I repeat, Will you inform Mr. Gritty that I have called? Do you think you can manage that?
SALLY. Well, sir, don’t you think it would be as well just to mention the name? Do you think you can manage that? Shall I take your card, sir?
SKRUFF. Yes! (taking out card-case). No! (Aside.) Cards cost a shilling a hundred. Why should I waste one on people I’ve hardly ever seen. (Aloud.) You can say—“Mr. Samuel Skruff.” Do you think you can remember that?
SALLY. “Skruff!” Not likely to forget it, sir—such an aristocratic name. (Bringing forward a three-legged rustic seat.) Like to sit down, sir?
GRITTY (heard from house at L.). Sally! My shaving water!—hot! all hot!
SALLY. Coming, sir!
[Runs into house L.
SKRUFF. Her name’s Sally, is it? (writing in note-book). Down goes Sally along-side of Spronks. (Seats himself and almost tumbles over.) What the deuce does old Gritty mean by having such rickety things as this about the premises?—to do a good turn to the wooden-leg makers, I suppose! (Sitting down very cautiously.) Now let me see what I’ve come down here for (consults note-book). Here we have it! (Reads.) “Florence Halliday,” “Hetty Halliday”—old Gritty’s two nieces. The fact is, dad wants to see me settled; that is, if I can make a good thing out of it! Well, he’s just heard on the extreme quiet that one of the young ladies is very soon coming in for £10,000!—unluckily he doesn’t know which of the two—so, on the strength of a former business acquaintance with old Gritty, he has trotted me down here to ferret the secret out, and if I get hold of the right scent I am to go the entire animal at once!—not likely I should waste any time about courtship and all that sort of thing. Not I! Only let me worm out which of the two has got the tin, and I’ll marry her to-morrow morning!—I can’t say fairer than that! (Looking about him.) Rather a niceish sort of place this! must have cost something! I hope old Gritty can afford it. Father says he was always fond of squandering his money and doing good. Doing good!—what is it, after all?—getting up a vainglorious reputation at the expense of people who stick to their money!