Comediettas and Farces

by John Maddison Morton

COX. I don’t say I do, Mrs. B.; only I wish you distinctly to understand that I don’t believe it’s the cat.

MRS. B. Is there anything else you’ve got to grumble about, sir?

COX. Grumble! Mrs. Bouncer, do you possess such a thing as a dictionary?

MRS. B. No, sir.

COX. Then I’ll lend you one; and if you turn to the letter G, you’ll find “Grumble, verb neuter—to complain without a cause.” Now, that’s not my case, Mrs. B.; and now that we are upon the subject, I wish to know how it is that I frequently find my apartment full of smoke?

MRS. B. Why—I suppose the chimney—

COX. The chimney doesn’t smoke tobacco. I’m speaking of tobacco-smoke, Mrs. B. I hope, Mrs. Bouncer, you’re not guilty of cheroots or Cubas?

MRS. B. Not I, indeed, Mr. Cox.

COX. Nor partial to a pipe?

MRS. B. No, sir.