Exit, L.
O’WALKER. He says “try it!” therefore, he does recommend it! Not that I exactly liked the tone in which he said “try it!” I mean to try it. I shouldn’t like to know who wouldn’t with such a charming little wife as I’m going to have, a sweet unsophisticated creature from the peaceful and picturesque village of Brentford, with health on her cheek, innocence in her heart, and £2,000 in her pocket. Now that £2,000, added to what I shall bring, will make a total of £2,000; for I don’t mean to say a word about the ninety-seven pounds ten, left me last week by my uncle Samuel—no, that ninety-seven ten I consider the property of my creditors; I gave it yesterday morning to my friend Dibbs to invest in the three per cents, with the full determination of paying my debts with the interest. I made the calculation last night, and find that in thirty-seven years I shan’t owe one shilling in the world: if that isn’t a moral satisfaction for a man, I don’t know what is! Dear me! now I think of it, I went out in such a hurry this morning that I hadn’t time to read my letters. (taking letters out of his pocket and opening them) Oh, from Jacob Jones, Dibbs’ head clerk, to tell me he’s invested my ninety-seven ten, I suppose! Holloa—what’s this? (reads) “Sorry to say Dibbs is done up”— Dear me! how very sudden—poor Dibbs. (reading again) “and means to make a bolt of it to-morrow”— That’s to-day! well, I can’t blame Dibbs if he does; perhaps it’s the best thing Dibbs can do. (reads) “with all the money he can lay his hands on”— Of course, every man has a right to do what he likes with his own, and so has Dibbs. (reads) “all the money he can lay his hands on—yours included”— Mine! my ninety-seven ten! that scoundrel Dibbs! (reading again hurriedly) “he means to be off by the rail”— Jacob’s a clever fellow! (reads) “but I don’t know which”— Jacob’s an ass! (reads) “but this I do know, that if you want to get your money back”— Want my ninety-seven ten? Of course I do! “be at his house in Arabella Row, Pimlico, before three o’clock and you’ll nab him.” Before three o’clock— (hastily pulls out watch) come, I’ve plenty of time, that’s one comfort—I’ll jump into a cab at once, drive to— Stop—I’ve only got a fourpenny-piece in my pocket, and I don’t suppose any cabman would take me two miles and a half for that—I have it, I’ll jump into a Pimlirow Omnibus—get down at the corner of Arabellaco, and come down upon Dibbs like a thunderbolt. (looking out) Ah! yes—there’s an omnibus! here! stop! conductor!
Puts up his umbrella and forces his way through CROWD at L.—and then heard outside.
Here! Pimlico! stop! stop!
Re-enter MRS. JELLICOE and FANNY from R.
MRS. J. Rain or not, we must go now, my dear; indeed we must!
O’WALKER. (outside) Now then, if you’ll allow me.
Re-enters, with his umbrella up.
Full, of course; and, strange to say, there wasn’t a lady would get outside to accommodate me. They positively refused, every one of them—I don’t know why they should, but they did!
FANNY. (seeing him) Why, I do declare, mamma, there’s Mr. O’Walker!