"But what is the use of those peeps and chance meetings to your young ladies, if they have not the liberty of choice with regard to their husbands?"
"Why, sir," said my friend, "our daughters are usually betrothed when children, and married when very young; the husband is commonly selected from equality of condition and age. All this is settled by the parents, whose regard for their children, it is supposed, will make them take every means to promote their happiness. It must be confessed, however, that worldly motives often lead to youth and age being united; but this, I am told, occurs even in England. You will say an English father cannot force his daughter to marry, but he can no doubt use such means as may oblige her to marry a man for whom she has an aversion, or she may run away from her parents with some person of whom they disapprove.
"So you see," said Jaffier, "this liberty of choice which your forward, though inexperienced, young ladies exercise, has bad as well as good effects. Now our daughters never run away; and as they have seldom ever seen their destined husbands, if they have no love for them, neither have they any dislike. The change from the condition of a girl under the strict subjection of her mother to that of a wife at the head of her own part of the household is so agreeable, that they are too happy to adopt it.
"You English take your ideas of the situation of females in Asia from what you hear and read of the harems of kings, rulers, and chiefs, who being absolute over both the men and women of their territories, indulge in a plurality of wives and mistresses. These, undoubtedly, are immured within high walls, and are kept during life like slaves; but you ought to recollect, that the great and powerful, who have such establishments, are not in the proportion of one to ten thousand of the population of the country. If a person of inferior rank marry a woman of respectable connexions, she becomes mistress of his family; and should he have only one house, he cannot place another on an equality without a certainty of involving himself in endless trouble and vexation, if not disgrace. The dower usually settled upon such a lady, added to other privileges, and an unlimited authority over her children and servants, give her much importance; and she is supported by her relations in the assertion of every right with which custom has invested her.
"With regard to liberty, such a lady can not only go to the public bath, but she visits for one or two days, as she chooses, at the house of her father, brother, sister, or son. She not only goes to all these places unattended, but her husband's following her would be deemed an unpardonable intrusion. Then she has visitors at home; friends, musicians, and dancers; the husband cannot enter the lady's part of the house without giving notice. I only wish," said Jaffier Ali, laughing, "you could see the bold blustering gentleman of the merdâneh in the ladies' apartment; you would hardly believe him to be the same person. The moment his foot crosses the threshold, every thing reminds him he is no longer lord and master; children, servants, and slaves look alone to the lady. In short, her authority is paramount: when she is in good humour, everything goes on well; and when in bad, nothing goes right. It is very well for grandees, who, besides power and wealth, have separate houses and establishments, and are above all regard for law and usage, to have harems, and wives, and female slaves; but for others, though they may try the experiment, it can never answer;" and he shook his head, apparently with that sincere conviction which is the result of experience.
Hajee Hoosein, who had brought our evening kelliâns, and was listening to this defence of Mahomedan ladies with great attention, exclaimed at this last sentence, "Sâdee says very truly,
'Two dervishes can sleep on one carpet,
But two kings cannot rest in one kingdom.'"
"Very true, Hajee," said Jaffier Ali, "nor can two mistresses be at peace in one house."
"Why, then," said I, "did your Prophet permit polygamy, and set so bad an example? for while he limited his followers to four wives, he obtained a peculiar dispensation to have nine himself, besides 'Slaves of his right hand.'"[100]
Meerzâ Aga Meer, who is a holy Syed, and consequently of the Prophet's family, took the word, as he is wont to do upon all occasions when he hears a name so sacred irreverently treated.